


i wanna know, how it could be as sweet as candy

by gayheroine



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: 2YEON - Freeform, Acting AU, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mimo, Slow Burn, but also a side helping of angst to keep it real, everything falls apart but comes back together eventually, it'll all turn out okay in the end, maybe chaeyu we will see, read & support for saida!! we need more long saida fics on ao3, saida
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-06-10 07:00:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15286245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayheroine/pseuds/gayheroine
Summary: sana minatozaki loves her TWICE acting group more than anything else. they are the closest-knit friend group in the world, and sana wants it to stay like that: unchanging, unaltered, forever. but as things inevitably do start to change around her, sana wonders if maybe, just maybe, change is not a bad thing.the saida fake dating + acting au you didn't know you needed till now.ch. 6:sh*t finally goes down





	1. pause

**Author's Note:**

> hey all! this is probably going to be my longest fic because i love saida so much.  
> so, as a disclaimer, i feel really weird writing rpf because i feel like it can be invasive or creepy. imagine people writing stories about you getting together with one of your friends, you know? but the idea of members from twice dating was really validating to me, as an asian lesbian. when i wrote this, i honestly wasn't thinking of getting the actual members together, but i was just thinking of "man, what if there were some gay asian actresses that got together? wouldn't that be amazing?"  
> so that's why i wrote this!  
>   
> hope you all enjoy :)

Sana wore her heart on her sleeve.

She never really had another option - Sana was absolutely, positively terrible at hiding her feelings. She had trained as an actress for a major portion of her life with the other eight members of her TWICE Acting Agency training group. But acting was becoming another person; it wasn't hiding parts of herself.

When Sana found something funny, her laughter would bubble up from her stomach, unrestrained, to fill an entire room. When she was moody, she would storm to her room like a twister on a mission, stray pages of old scripts flapping wildly in her wake.  When she was fired up about something, nothing could keep up with her as she would hurtle toward her target like an arrow loosed from a bow. _(Wow, Momo would say. What got your panties in a knot? But she would always shut up when Mina hit her knee, giving her a pointed side-eye.)_

And when she was in love? Sana wouldn't know. She'd never been in love.

* * *

Sana shrieked when she felt something hit her back with a loud _whump_. She startled, and whirled around to see what it was - and that was her mistake.

A sense of dread overtook her body as she realized she had turned to suddenly, too fast. As if in slow motion, she felt her ankle buckle beneath her, and her eyes widened comically as she felt gravity take the reins.

Sana hit the ground with a loud exhalation of air.

The bedroom exploded with laughter. The face of Yoo Jeongyeon popped into her vision, a pillow dangling loosely from one hand and a crooked grin on her face. "Oh my god, you actually fell. Nayeon!" she turned back towards where the other girls were in hysterics. "Guess I owe you five bucks."

Sana's eyes narrowed. She felt around beneath her. "You're gonna regret this, Jeongyeon Yoo."

Her hands finally closed around soft fabric, and she jumped up, swinging the object with all her might.

When the pillow hit Jeongyeon square in the face, a copious amount of feathers exploded out from it, dense as a winter morning's fog.

The room fell silent.

The then-empty pillow cover fell from Jeongyeon's face, whose eyes followed its lazy path down to the floor, a blank look on her face. Then her eyes rose up to look at Sana. Sana stood stock-still, offering Jeongyeon a wavering smile.

Jeongyeon's eyes narrowed. Sana gulped.

Then Sana heard a gasp. Jeongyeon turned to look behind her, and Sana felt her body relax. She craned her head to see Mina, eyes wide, looking at Kim Dahyun, brandishing a pillow that she had taken from the bed when everyone else was looking at Sana and Jeongyeon. Dahyun flitted her gaze over to Sana, winked, and swung her pillow, fast as lightning.

The pillow hit Mina's chest, who rocked back with the force of the impact.

And again the room was quiet.

But before anyone could move any further, Momo came up behind Mina, fire in her eyes. She grabbed a pillow and swung it at Dahyun, who ducked, and the pillow connected solidly with the side of Jihyo's head.

Jihyo turned around slowly, her expression unreadable.

"Oh, it's on."

Jeongyeon turned to face Sana again, eyes still narrowed, but her lips twisted into a grin. She cupped her hands around her mouth to project her voice.

"Pillow fight!"

The room launched into a flurry of action, each girl running for the nearest pillow. Jeongyeon charged at Sana, who shrieked and spun on her heel, sprinting in the other direction. But she could only go so far. In a heart-stopping instant, she felt arms around her stomach and she was hoisted into the air.

Sana's legs pedaled the air as she tried to squirm out of Jeongyeon's grasp. "Dahyun!" she yelped. "Help!"

Jeongyeon heaved Sana over to the bed and dropped her unceremoniously. She raised her pillow above her head, a glint in her eye. "This is just payback, it can't be helped." Sana's throat went dry.

Right at that moment, when Sana was sure all was lost, someone appeared to stand in between Jeongyeon and her. The someone set her feet wide and brought her arms up into a karate-like stance. She narrowed her eyes at Jeongyeon, bouncing on her toes. "I heard your call, o fair maiden."

Sana covered her grin at the ridiculous sight, Jeongyeon struck silent while Dahyun bounced on the balls of her feet in a mock-karate pose, arms splayed out above her head.

"Is this brute bothering you?"

Sana faked a sniffle. "Yes."

Jeongyeon started. "Hey, that's not-"

"Then you must say no more."

Quick as a snake, Dahyun took the pillow out of Jeongyeon's grasp and leapt upon Jeongyeon like a frog. Her legs closed around Jeongyeon's waist and she maneuvered herself into the piggyback position. Dahyun began to hit Jeongyeon on the head with the pillow, again and again.

Jeongyeon yelped and staggered around the room, trying to shake Dahyun off. But Dahyun wouldn't budge. The onslaught continued until they got to where the other girls were still fighting in the center of the room where Jeongyeon promptly tripped, falling into Nayeon. Nayeon was knocked off balance and stumbled into Tzuyu, who startled and crashed to the floor. That took Mina's legs out from under her and made Chaeyoung trip, and soon the rest of the girls were lying on the floor in various positions, groaning and grumbling at whoever had made them fall.

All Sana could feel at that moment was the feeling of her stomach hurting so hard from laughter.

 

"Aaaaand _cut_!"

* * *

"Man, I can't believe they had me scream pillow fight. That was so cheesy."

Jeongyeon's lower lip protruded as she laid on the break room floor. Chaeyoung laughed from where she was perched on a chair next to her. "It's because we all know you're the cheesiest."

"Hey! You take that back." Jeongyeon sat up and pulled Chaeyoung into a noogie. Chaeyoung squealed and swatted at Jeongyeon. "I can't take it back if it's true!"

"You can too!"

Mina laughed. "Okay, okay, quiet down." She turned to Sana and Jihyo, sitting on the couch to her left. "You know, I think that was actually our best take," she said.

Jihyo smiled. "It was. All of our improv was super natural."

"Besides my part with Jeong," Sana said.

"Which I'm still mad about! It was so cheesy!"

Nayeon rolled her eyes. "We get it, it's an injustice. You're not cheesy at all, and you got a cheesy part. Which is unfair. Because you're never cheesy. Not at all."

Jeongyeon huffed. "I don't know why you're being sarcastic."

Momo spoke up from where she was laying on the couch, head in Mina's lap. "Can we talk about how all of us except for Sana managed to fall in the end? How did that even happen?"

"It's a total reversal of how things normally go," said Tzuyu.

Sana hid her face in her hands as the rest of the girls laughed.

"Honest as always," Mina said, a small smile on her face.

Jihyo spoke up. "But Sana, how did that all happen? It was hilarious and I bet the producers loved it, but it all just happened at once."

Sana snorted. "It was all because of Dahyun."

The others turned to look at Dahyun, who nodded, expression serious. "I was defending a girl's honor."

"No, you were accosting me!" said Jeongyeon.

Dahyun shrugged. "Same thing."

Nayeon cracked up. "Good one," she said, reaching across her chair to high-five Dahyun, who returned it without looking, deadpan, but dissolved into a fit of giggles soon after. Sana smiled.

"I'm being bullied by my own training group," Jeongyeon sighed. "But what else is new?"

The group chattered for a little longer, but were soon interrupted by a brisk series of three knocks. The girls fell silent, most of them looking to Jihyo.

"Come in!" Jihyo called.

The assistant director poked his head into the room. "We just got the director's input on the scene."

Sana leaned forward in her seat. They had been at the studio almost all day, and though she loved her job, she really just wanted to go home and sleep. She knew the other girls felt similarly, as they all stilled and seemed to be hanging on every word the assistant director said.

The assistant director grinned. "You're all good to go! It was perfect." He stepped back and began closing the door, but stopped and poked his head in again. "Oh, and thanks for all of your hard work. I know it took a while to get this episode right, but it'll totally be worth it." He winked, then closed the door fully.

The girls erupted into a cheer when he was gone. "Finally!" Momo said, stretching. "I thought I'd have to miss another dance class."

"We still might, if you don't hurry up!" Mina said. "And my ballet teacher isn't nearly as relaxed as your hip-hop instructor," she said, with a raised eyebrow. She walked toward the door and took Momo's coat from the coat rack. "See you later, everyone!" she said, and walked out of the door.

"Wait!" said Momo, scrambling to her feet. She turned to the rest of the group. "Bye, guys. See you all back at our place!" Momo didn't wait for a response and jogged out in pursuit of Mina.

Jihyo stood up and clasped her hands together. "Good work today, everyone! I have a meeting to go to, so I'll see you all back at our place for dinner. Don't stay out too late tonight, we have work tomorrow!" 

"Okay, Mom!" said Nayeon.

When Jihyo left, Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, Nayeon, Tzuyu, Dahyun, and Sana were left. Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon grouped together and started making plans that Sana would probably in no way want a part of until she's had at least three hours of sleep. She turned to Dahyun and Tzuyu. "So we're the boring ones today, huh?"

"Sleep isn't boring," said Dahyun. "Sleep is the best."

Tzuyu nodded emphatically. Sana laughed. "You're not wrong, Dubu." 

Dahyun returned her smile with a wide smile of her own. She walked to the door and opened it wide. Bowing her head, she looked up through her eyelashes at Sana, grinning. "Maidens first."

* * *

People sometimes asked her how she could spend almost every single waking moment with her training group. It was never hard for Sana. She loved every member of her training group so much that it made her heart hurt sometimes. 

She had come to the U.S. from Japan when she was pretty young, but not young enough that she could pick up English like a native language. It was a hard first year for her. She had to go to an American school, where she didn't speak the language, didn't look like anyone, and wasn't looked at as an equal. Sana was a social kid, but she talked so little that year that it would sometimes become scratchy with disuse. 

It had messed her head up. She had started to think of herself like the other kids did - silent, unnotable, and unimportant.

She had felt herself on the verge of something deep and bleak and terrible. And then she had discovered acting. 

Her class had put on a class play for the end of the year and the students had all been assigned random roles. It had been a parody version of a high school zombie apocalypse, featuring a cast of exaggerated caricatures of high school stereotypes.

Sana's character had been the queen bee, and she was beautiful, admired, and everything Sana was not.

When Sana had played her, even though Sana's English had been halting and broken, she had felt like a person.

After the school year had ended, Sana had begged her mother to enroll her in acting classes. Her mother could barely afford it, but they eventually had found a cheap park district acting program for Sana. Every summer and all throughout the year, for a few years, Sana went to that program and she had found a home. The kids there were so much nicer than the kids at her school, and they had helped her with her English.

Sana remembered the kids hunched over their scripts on the dingy floor of the park fieldhouse, sounding out words with Sana and helping her with her grammar. She thought that without them, there would be no Sana Minatozaki, rising star and central member of TWICE Acting Agency.

At thirteen, there had been a casting call for a commercial. It had felt like a gift from some deity above, because it had been asking for twelve to fifteen year-olds only, and there had been no speaking parts.

Sana had auditioned and had found out in three days that she had gotten the part.

A few weeks after the commercial had gone live, Sana had received an official-looking letter in the mail. Her mother had been wary, because any official-looking letters that had been sent to the Minatozaki household had been bad news. But it was addressed to Sana, so she gave it to Sana. Sana had looked on the front and had seen it was from an acting agency, and she had felt weightless, like a wind could come at any moment and sweep her away.

She had opened it and saw that the TWICE Acting Agency had scouted her for an audition to be a part of a training group. 

That time of her life had been a blur. She remembered going in to audition, coming out of her audition, and a long period of breathless waiting with her mother for the news. 

Eventually she had gotten it, of course, and she had gotten in.

From there, she remembered her mother crying with joy, a last hug, and leaving her small apartment building that smelled like wet cement and her mother that smelled like daisies and mahogany.

Meeting the other girls had been surreal. They had all been extraordinarily passionate about acting. Many of them were charismatic or compassionate or fun to be around. But most importantly, they treated her like a person. She recalled going to sleep that night, stomach sore from laughter, wondering if it was all a dream, and she would find herself back in class, donning the mantle of worthless foreign girl again.

But she had never had to return to that classroom, and she had only gotten closer with the other girls. Slowly and surely, she grew to love each one of them even more than she appreciated how well they treated her.

Jihyo, who had mothered them all so much that she had been picked unanimously to be their spokesperson and unofficial leader.

Nayeon, who had won them all over with her cute bunny teeth from day one, and then had showed them _(with her crazy pranks)_ that she was much more than just a cute face.

Jeongyeon, who had acted out during the day, but had always been there for Sana and anyone who needed support in the evenings.

Mina, who had come into the group shyer than Sana on her bad days, but then had grown into an elegant actress with legions of adoring fans.

Momo, who had such charisma and fierceness that so many of them had been drawn in, and then they had found out that she would use that same charisma and fierceness to defend any member of the group against any force.

Chaeyoung, who had been so extraordinarily talented at acting and rapping and drawing that Sana might have been jealous, if Chaeyoung had not been so cute.

Tzuyu, who had been so gorgeous that half of them had initially thought that was the reason she was in the group, but she had shocked all of them in their first run-through as she was also possibly the best actress of them all.

Dahyun, who had been the first one there for Sana, her beloved best friend, whose ridiculous antics always made Sana laugh to the point of tears.

 

No, Sana really could not see how people would think she wouldn't want to spend her whole life with these people.

* * *

Sana turned the key in the lock and the door swung open. Dahyun wasted no time, trotting inside with her arms raised above her head. She stopped in the middle of the living room and let her arms fall. Shoulders sagging, she let out her breath in a contented sigh. 

Tzuyu walked in, and Sana followed her, closing the door behind them.

"I'm going to bed," Tzuyu yawned. "Amazing how a pillow fight can be so tiring."

Tzuyu was so adorably tired, rubbing one of her eyes with the knuckle of her sleeved hand. Sana was basically obligated to wrap her arms around Tzuyu's neck in a hug and plant a small kiss on the side of her face. "Sleep tight, Tzuyu!"

"Night, Tzu!" Dahyun echoed, flopping down onto the couch.

Tzuyu smiled as she extricated herself from Sana's embrace and headed to her room.

Sana walked over to the couch and sat next to Dahyun. 

Dahyun turned to her and smiled - not the usual smile she gave to the press and on camera, but one only reserved for Sana and the rest of TWICE, small and tender. "Will you watch some Glee with me?"

It was no secret to the rest of TWICE that Dahyun was completely obsessed with Glee. At this point, those of them who didn't want to watch Glee for three hours at a time avoided Dahyun in their free time at all costs, because if Dahyun saw them, any amount of resistance would prove futile. 

Of course, Sana never minded. Dahyun was her best friend, and who was she to pass up a three-hour cuddle session with her tiny best friend?

Sana smiled, feeling her eyes crinkle into half-moons. "Of course!"

Dahyun fist-pumped and grabbed the remote, a grin on her face. She flipped on the TV and, of course, it was still on the episode of Glee they had left off on. Sana snaked her arms around Dahyun's neck and rested her head on Dahyun's shoulder, about to settle in. Then she sat upright.

"Dahyun, where's your popcorn?"

Dahyun held up a finger, her face screwed into a comical mask of concentration as she navigated the TV cursor to select "Play". The episode began to load, and Dahyun hoisted herself up and over the back of the couch. Sana heard her rummaging around somewhere behind her, then Dahyun was next to her again, with a bucket of popcorn in hand.

Sana covered her mouth and a giggle slipped between her fingers. "You and your popcorn."

"I prepared it this morning just in case. We can never be apart."

Sana stuck her bottom lip out. "You've never said that to me. Are you better friends with your popcorn than me?"

Dahyun looked away, deadpan, as Sana pouted, trying to look into her deep brown eyes. Finally she let out a sigh. "You're my best friend," she mumbled. "And your pout is too strong."

Sana squealed and threw her arms around Dahyun's neck, pulling Dahyun towards her to pepper kisses on the top of her head. Dahyun yelped and flailed. "Sana!" she whined. "Glee is starting!"

Sana stopped, sighing. "I guess you're right," she said.

They settled in as the episode started, Dahyun munching away on her popcorn and Sana would occasionally steal a kernel. But eventually, the day caught up to Sana, and her eyelids began to droop. Her vision went hazy at the edges as she tried to hang onto consciousness, but alas, it was a battle she could not win. She let her head fall atop Dahyun's, and she drifted off to the feeling of Dahyun's warm body and the sounds of Rachel Berry's hysterics, getting quieter and quieter as Sana got further and further away.

* * *

"Hey...hey! Sana!"

Sana's eyes flew open to see Momo bending down, waving in her face. Sana groaned and waved her hands away. "Lemme go back to sleep," she slurred.

"No can do, we've got some dinner incoming real soon."

Sana groaned again, but she rubbed her eyes and sat up further. She looked down to see Dahyun sound asleep on her shoulder, her arms wrapped around Sana's waist. A piece of her hair had fallen into her face and without second thought Sana reached down and tucked it behind her ear.

"Aw, look! They fell asleep again," Chaeyoung said, having just walked in. She was followed by Jeongyeon and Nayeon, who were bickering but quieted when they saw Dahyun. "Oh my god, she's like a little puppy," Jeongyeon said. She knelt down in front of Dahyun and tried shaking her awake. All that did was push Dahyun off of Sana's shoulder and into her lap, where she kept sleeping. "A little puppy that sleeps like the dead."

Sana looked down at Dahyun and yeah, maybe she did look a little like a cute puppy. And she definitely slept like the dead.

"Sana!" Jihyo called from the kitchen behind her. "Can you do your thing to wake Dahyun up? I sent Momo in to wake you up to retrieve Dahyun from the land of the dead, we have dinner ready."

Sana grinned wickedly. "Sure thing, Mom!" she called back.

She leaned over Dahyun's ear. "Dahyun," she hummed. "Time to get up."

There was no response from the tiny girl. Sana tried one more time. "Dahyun, if you don't get up now, you know what I'll have to do."

Still no response. Sana sighed. "You're hopeless," she muttered. She moved her hands to the bottom of Dahyun's shirt and slipped them underneath. She felt Dahyun twitch. Her hands eventually reached Dahyun's sides, and Sana began her onslaught.

Dahyun startled awake in a storm of flailing limbs. "Sana!" she laughed, breathless. "Stop! Stop! It tickles!"

She tried twisting away from Sana, but because Sana's hands were underneath Dahyun's shirt, all she could do was turn to face Sana. "Sana!" she said between laughs, drawing out the end of Sana's name. "Mercy! Please!"

Sana could see Momo, Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon laughing as they watched the scene. "No," she said, a smile curling around her lips. "Wanna know why?"

"W-why?" Dahyun gasped.

"Because you're too cute!" Sana squealed. She heard another chorus of laughter from those watching as she continued to tickle Dahyun, who continued to twist away from her in vain.

"Okay, dinner's ready!" Jihyo called from the kitchen.

"Yes!" Jeongyeon cheered.

They all crammed into the kitchen to grab their food from Jihyo. Momo inspected her plate. "Not bad, Park Jihyo," she said. "Maybe you'll be our main chef someday."

Jihyo snorted. "I hope not. I wouldn't be able to live without your meals."

The group sat down to eat, settling in their usual spots. Mina and Jihyo sat in a loveseat with Momo on the floor next to her, legs stretched out in front of her. Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, Nayeon, Dahyun, and Sana sat on the couch, and Jeongyeon sat on the floor between the loveseat and the couch.

"How was everyone's day?" Jihyo asks, once they're all settled in.

"We made it to the dance studio on time!" Mina said. "My ballet teacher wasn't even mad."

"My hip hop teacher wasn't mad either."

Mina gave Momo a glare. "You're really lucky we were on time, even after we missed the bus because you were so slow."

Nayeon laughed. "Oh man, of course she almost made you two late again."

Momo narrowed her eyes and threw a piece of corn at Nayeon. "Nibble on this, rabbit."

Nayeon put a hand on her chest in offense as Jeongyeon burst into laughter. Sana had to hide a smile with her hand, and she saw most of the other members doing the same. Even Tzuyu had to look away to hide her smile. 

"I swear, if you start a food fight like we started that pillow fight on set, you three have to clean up the whole thing yourselves," Jihyo said, pointing at Momo, Nayeon, and Jeongyeon.

"Why are you pointing at me! I wasn't even involved food-throwing in any way!"

"No, but I know you would've been soon if I hadn't said anything."

The room burst into laughter and Jeongyeon crossed her arms. "I swear, you guys really do bully me."

Sana laughed, her grin so wide she thought her face might split.

If she could freeze in this moment, replay it over and over again, never changing, she would. Jeongyeon looking petulant as Jihyo shrugs. Mina hiding a smile while Momo laughs raucously, head thrown back. Chaeyoung giggling next to Tzuyu, who is hiding her smile and Nayeon, shaking her head. Sana could feel Dahyun shaking with silent laughter next to her.

She hoped it would never change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! thanks for reading so far! if you liked it, it would absolutely make my day if you left kudos and left a comment of some sort :). and let me know what you want in the future (do you all want chaeyu?)! i have a plot i'm going by, but i'm writing this all as I go. 
> 
> i got the title from the english translation of what is love. it's one of sana's lines.
> 
> by the way, if you were wondering what they were filming, i'll explain it more in-depth next chapter, but it's a reality TV show.


	2. play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 21 KUDOS!???? it's a party!!!!
> 
> thank you guys so much! i can't believe 21 people read this, much less liked it! you're all the best :).  
> chapter two is here! the inspiration for the scene of TWICE TV today was from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W32Rer9VRLY) video. it's loving kim dahyun hours in this house.

The show they filmed was a reality show called TWICE TV 1. It was primarily a way for the world to get to know the TWICE actresses, but it also served as a way for TV producers and movie directors to scout TWICE's talent.

Multiple TWICE Acting Agency training groups existed at any one time, but Sana's group was by far the most popular, with the first slot on TWICE TV and a devoted and growing fanbase.

It was great. The group received scripts for the show, but it was mostly improv, so Sana was basically paid to hang out with her friends. Technically, TWICE TV was supposed to be a stepping stone for group members' debut on TV or in movies, but Sana would be happy doing it forever.

* * *

The episode of TWICE TV that day was a field episode - meaning that the crew packed up their equipment, and the girls hit the road in a TWICE van. They headed toward wherever JYP, TWICE TV's director, had decided the day’s shoot would be.

JYP had told them the shoot was at something called the “Thrill Walk”, but none of the members knew what it actually was.

”I bet it’s a haunted house,” Dahyun said, kicking her feet next to Sana.

Sana shuddered, ghoulish faces and cobwebs popping into her head. “I hope not, that would be way too scary.”

Dahyun looked over at her, eyes glinting. “Don't worry, fair maiden, I'd protect you!” She straightened her spine and brought her forehead in a rigid salute, jaw strong.

It was one of the cutest things Sana had ever seen. The next thing she knew she had leaned over, chest brushing against Dahyun’s shoulder, to pinch Dahyun’s cheeks. “My hero!” she said, pretending to swoon on Dahyun. She began moving Dahyun’s head back and forth gently.

Dahyun closed her eyes and let her head flop around like her neck was made of jelly, a serious look on her face. Holding back her laughter, Sana bit her lip. She pulled Dahyun's head towards her, so close that it was almost resting on her own shoulder, and Dahyun's eyes flew open. She looked up at Sana, brown eyes serious, bottom lip slightly out. The sunlight streaming in from the window illuminated the depths of her eyes, bringing to light the small black freckles peppered across her irises.

Sana held her gaze and it was Dahyun who broke character first, erupting into a fit of laughter. Sana couldn’t help but join her.

”You’re so silly,” Sana cooed, bringing Dahyun’s head down to rest on her shoulder. She closed her eyes to the warm caress of sunlight and felt the world blur into darkness.

Her dreams were an expanse of vitreous brown and sun-dappled freckles.

* * *

Sana stepped out of the van onto the snow-dusted ground. She inhaled, eyes fluttering and a small smile on her face. The mountaintop they had arrived at smelled like home, she thought idly, walking over to a tree and plucking at a pine needle with her fingers. She watched it spring back up when she let go, the snow on it falling to the ground in a heap.

A commotion behind her brought Sana out of her thoughts.

"No, no no," she heard Dahyun moan.

Sana turned and her vision focused on Dahyun's white-knuckled grip, trembling as Chaeyoung tried to peel her away from the railing.

"You're coming with us, Dahyunnie!"

"No," Dahyun whined, dragging out the end of the word. "It's a death trap!"

"She's right, for once," Sana heard Momo say. She turned to look at the other girl. Momo was as pale as a sheet, eyes stretched at the edges. "I think I'm sitting this one out. TWICE TV will go on without me."

Dahyun gasped as Chaeyoung finally managed to detach her from the railing. "I'll join you!"

"No, you're not," Chaeyoung sing-songed. She started to drag Dahyun to the path. "We can't have two of us sitting out at once, and this will be fun!"

"Help! Sana, help me!" Dahyun yelped, eyes screwed shut, feet scrabbling for purchase on the snow-slick ground. Though the sight was humorous, Sana felt something in her heart tug at Dahyun's words.

She stepped forward. "I'll take her, Chae," she said. 

Chaeyoung turned toward her, surprised. "You sure? You probably won't be able to do as many of the obstacles, then," she said.

Sana waved Chaeyoung off. "Yeah, it's fine." Sana waved Chaeyoung off.

Chaeyoung let go of Dahyun, who collapsed to the floor. Sana knelt next to her, arms automatically finding Dahyun's waist like her muscles had memorized its shape. "I've got you, Dahyunnie. It's okay."

Dahyun's muscles relaxed a fraction. "Do I have to go?" she asked. Her voice was as taut as a violin string, tightened a half-turn more than it should be.

Sana buried her face into Dahyun's hair and shook her head. She inhaled, the scent of Dahyun's vanilla shampoo and the frigid bite of mountain air filling her nostrils.

"Do you want to go?" Dahyun asked, after a while.

"Yes," Sana said. "And I want you to have fun and be a part of the group."

All Sana heard for a moment was the summit's winds whipping past her ears. 

"I'll go, then," Dahyun said, a piece of her voice smoothed out. "You just have to hold me the whole time."

Sana laughed.

"Okay."

* * *

The trek wasn't that bad. The Thrill Walk was a glass skyway wrapping around the summit of the mountain with small obstacles interspersed throughout. It had taken Dahyun a few minutes of standing at the edge of the first glass pane, Sana egging her on, to take her first step. Once she did, it was almost smooth sailing as Sana whispered reassurances into Dahyun's ear and kept a tight hold on her waist.

That is, until they saw the obstacle.

It was a wire rope, bracketed by two rails. It quivered in the wind. Below it, there was a net, but beneath the net Sana could see thousands of feet down.

Dahyun whimpered. "I'm not going on that."

Sana wouldn't expect her to, not when even she felt a plummeting sensation in her stomach when she looked at the abyss below. "It's okay, you go take the solid path." There was a path right next to the obstacle for anyone who was unable or unwilling to chance the swinging rope.

All the other girls had crossed already. They were running off, Chaeyoung chasing Tzuyu with a shriek of " _Tzuyu! Get back here!_ " as Tzuyu giggled and bounded away.

Dahyun looked at the rope apprehensively from the side path. "I don't know how you're going to do this." Worry flooded her voice. "That net doesn't look too reliable."

Affection for her best friend rushed through Sana. "Don't worry about me, Dahyun. It'll be okay!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dahyun's brows furrow. Then she took her first step onto the rope. It wobbled a bit, and Sana's hands shot to the railings. Dahyun made a strangled noise. She bit her lip and waited for the rope to stop moving before she started to walk.

The wire rope was sturdy beneath her feet and the metal of the railings was cold and reassuringly solid. Sana's confidence rose with every step, and she moved her eyes up to the end of the obstacle.

The end was in sight. She'd make it there in no time.

Sana was three quarters of the way down the rope when she slipped.

She had put her front foot down at the slightest over-adjusted angle, and when she lifted her back foot, she felt the rope slip away beneath her foot with a _ssshk_. Sana tried grasping at the rails, but her hand slid off.

She cursed herself for her clumsiness.

There was a weightless moment, where Sana's vision was filled with the somber heather sky. She felt gravity pulling on her center, and let it take her.

 _I hope the net doesn't hurt too much,_ Sana thought idly.

" _Sana_!" Dahyun's scream: wet and filled with brambles and snags. 

Sana had never heard that amount of emotion in her voice. 

She looked for Dahyun, and in front of her, Sana saw the wire rope dip down dangerously in the place she had slipped from. She witnessed Dahyun scrambling to kneel down, holding on to the railing with one hand. The other was stretched out towards Sana, finger joints trembling and white from strain.

Sana's vision jerked away from Dahyun when she felt her back hit something soft and yielding. Her descent slowed and came to a stop.

_The net._

The net rebounded and Sana was weightless for another instant. Gravity pulled her back down soon after, like it always did, and Sana finally settled, lying on her back.

It had held.

Sana tilted her head up to look at Dahyun and her breath caught.

Dahyun was shaking. Tremors wracked her small body, and her face was paler than Sana had ever seen.

There was a loaded moment as Sana took in Dahyun's face, stretched into a mask of terror and desperation, and Dahyun's eyes darted to Sana, to the net and back again.

Then Dahyun, with a jerk, reached out to take Sana's hand. She brought it to her cheek and looked at Sana for a long moment, eyes brimming with tears. Sana looked back into her glassy eyes and felt a tug in the center of her stomach.

"I was so scared," Dahyun whispered, voice shattered at the edges.

The world went still. Her surroundings and the sound of the camera crew shouting faded far away as Sana sat up to put her other hand on Dahyun's other cheek. Dahyun leaned into her touch. "I'm okay, Dahyunnie. It's okay."

She was. The fall had shocked her and her heart was beating about a mile a minute, but besides that, she was physically fine. But seeing Dahyun so upset had shaken her. While Dahyun was known to be silly and spontaneous, Sana had never seen her act irrationally. Until then.

Sana took a shuddering breath and offered Dahyun a weak smile.

"Let's get off this thing."

* * *

After the production crew helped Sana out of the net, Sana and Dahyun were told to bypass the rest of the obstacles. The camera team had captured the entire event, and they said that was more than enough for the day, urging Sana and Dahyun to rest. So Sana and Dahyun found themselves back at the van, waiting for the others.

Two seats away, Dahyun was uncharacteristically quiet. In the time they had to wait for the others, Sana wondered why Dahyun reacted the way she did. It didn't seem like it could just be a fear of heights or a fear for Sana's safety.

The others got back and were confused to see Dahyun and Sana already back. Their confusion turned into concern when Sana had told them what happened. Jihyo gave Sana a once-over, checking for bruises and shining a light in her eyes that Sana had laughed at and swatted away. 

The camera team had come back, and Jihyo asked them to show the footage of Sana's fall.

They agreed. The cameraman fiddled with the camera's settings, then gave it to Jihyo. The other girls crowded around - Dahyun notably hanging back - and Jihyo hit "play". 

The scene started with Sana halfway across the rope, and she was teetering her way to the other side. Dahyun was in the camera's periphery, anxiously walking alongside Sana, brows furrowed and lips turned down.

Then, Sana saw video-Sana's foot slip. Sana lost her balance and swayed for a little, before tumbling into the net a few feet below and disappearing from the camera's sight. The other girls gasped at the suddenness, but Sana just cringed. She knew it was coming.

What she didn't see coming was Dahyun's scream. It ripped its way out of her throat and choked off at the ends. Broken, wet, desperate.

All movement in the room ceased.

But then video-Dahyun jumped up onto the railing of the side path and vaulted over onto the rope.

Sana's mouth fell open. On the video, the cameraman cried out, out of sight. A few of the other girls made noises of surprise. Dahyun fell to her knees and reached out to Sana, the camera zooming in on her face shakily.

Sana's breath caught as she saw the pure, unadulterated terror on Dahyun's face, eyes wide and watery. Video-Dahyun took Sana's hand and looked at Sana, eyes impossibly wide, and Sana looked back, seeming like she was slightly in shock.

The girls saw Dahyun whispering to Sana, "I was so scared," and Sana whispering back, "I'm okay, Dahyunnie."

The room was silent.

Jihyo turned the camera off, and Sana sat. She didn't know Dahyun had jumped over the rail to reach her. Chancing a glance at Dahyun, she saw the other girl staring at the space between her feet.

The van lurched into motion.

"I'm glad you're okay, Sana." Tzuyu spoke, voice quiet.

Sana turned to look at her, surprised that the youngest of them would be the first to break the silence. "Thank you, Tzuyu. I'm glad the net was actually pretty safe."

The girls were silent again as the van rumbled back down the mountain to the TWICE studio.

Jeongyeon cleared her throat, shifting in her seat. "I didn't know you could jump that high, Dubu," Jeongyeon finally said. "You're like a little frog."

Dahyun finally looked up from the floor. "Liar."

Jeongyeon paused. "What?" she asked, concern edging its way into her voice.

Sana saw Jihyo tense, and some of the other girls exchanging glances. The air grew thick, and Sana swallowed.

"You knew. Because I jumped onto you yesterday, and you're like a tree." Dahyun broke into her signature wide, lopsided grin. 

Sana laughed, surprised. A few of the other girls burst into giggles. Jeongyeon breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought you were mad at me."

"What? You're not even mad at that?" Nayeon asked, voice raising in pitch at the end. "When she called you a tree? But you were mad at me when I compared you to a chipmunk yesterday?"

Jeongyeon turned to her, glaring daggers. "That's totally different."

"I meant it as a compliment, you know!"

Taken aback, Jeongyeon sputtered. "I -" She cleared her throat. "I didn't see it like that."

Tzuyu snorted. "Jeongyeon-unnie, you're so clueless."

"What does that mean?" Jeongyeon asked, flinging her arms wide. Nayeon just rolled her eyes.

"You know," Chaeyoung mused, chin on her hand. "Tzuyu was jumping on the rope to literally get me to fall off. If I fell, I'm not sure if she would have even been worried, much less jumped a railing to get to me."

"Nope," Tzuyu replied, not missing a beat. "I wouldn't have."

As Chaeyoung staggered like she had been hit and clutched her heart, the girls burst into laughter that filled the entire van.

* * *

That night, Momo cooked. And Dahyun left dinner early.

That's how Sana knew something was wrong.

Ten minutes after Dahyun left, Sana abruptly stood up, her chair squeaking on the wood of the floor. "I'm going to bed, I'm wayyyyyyy tired after today," she said. Jihyo met her eyes with a nod.

"'Night, everyone!"

The group chorused their goodbyes. Besides Dahyun, it looked to Sana like everyone was feeling okay. Jihyo, Tzuyu, and Jeongyeon were still eating, and Momo, Mina, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon were sitting on the floor playing "Sorry". Momo and Mina were bickering over a move, since Mina knocked one of Momo's pieces back to Start, but Sana knew it was business as usual when Mina grinned and lightly bumped Momo's shoulder, who huffed but let the game go on.

Sana made her way to Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu's room. She stopped in front of a closed sky-blue door. Two notes were always posted on it. Eye-level, there was "beware the baby tiger" and beneath that, in a messy scrawl, "KEEP OUT. This is the domain of Dubu." Sana allowed herself a small smile before lightly knocking on the door. "Dahyun?" she called. "Will you open up for me?" she asked, letting her tone drip with honey. She batted her eyelashes for effect, even though there was no way Dahyun could see. Sana was nothing less than an actress, after all.

She heard the padding of socked feet on the floor and then the door swung open to reveal Dahyun in a sky blue nightie, her hair in a messy bun. Sana didn't say anything, just walked past her to plop down onto Dahyun's bed. Dahyun turned toward her, a brow raised.

"What are you doing here?"

Sana shrugged. "Just paying a visit to the domain of Dubu," she quipped, looking up through her eyelashes at Dahyun.

"Sana," she insisted, rolling her eyes, but the right corner of her mouth hitched up.

Sana let a big breath escape her lips as she fell back to sprawl out on Dahyun's bed. "I'm worried about you," she said, turning to her side to look at Dahyun. "Am I right to say that today wasn't caused by just the fear of losing me or a normal fear of heights?" She held Dahyun's gaze evenly.

Dahyun looked away. "It's nothing."

Sana patted the bed. "Come. Sit," she insisted. Dahyun slowly walked over to her bed and sat down at the edge, gaze steadily focused on the floor.

"Look at me," Sana whispered.

With the speed of the seasons changing, Dahyun brought her gaze up to meet Sana's eyes.

"What happened?" Sana asked, voice low.

Inhaling, Dahyun shut her eyes. She swallowed, throat bobbing. "I don't think I can talk about it today."

It broke Sana's heart to see. "Okay," she said, brushing some of Dahyun's baby hairs out of her face.

"Do you want me to sleep over tonight?"

Dahyun nodded. Sana pulled the sheets back as Dahyun turned the lights off. Sliding beneath the covers, she smoothed the space next to her. A beat later, Dahyun crawled in and settled down on her side. Sana draped her arm over Dahyun's small waist and buried her face into the back of Dahyun's neck, inhaling pure vanilla.

A few minutes of Sana reveling in Dahyun's gentle warmth had passed when Dahyun spoke, voice soft. "I'll tell you. Just not now. I don't think I could talk about it."

Sana squeezed Dahyun closer to her. "Take your time," she said as something expanded in her chest.

"We've got all the time in the world."

* * *

Five o'clock in the morning. 

That's the time that the sound of a phone's ringing yanked Sana from her sleep. She sighed, rubbing her eyes, and turned the phone over to check the time.

_Way too early._

Chaeyoung seemed to agree, stirring in her bed and letting out a groan. "Whose phone is that? Somebody kill it," she moaned, taking a pillow and smothering her face in it.

Sana almost laughed, but she didn't want to wake Dahyun or Tzuyu. She just accepted the call and brought the phone up to her ear. "Sana Minatozaki. Who's calling?"

"Sana? Why do you have Dahyun's phone?" It was JYP's voice.

Sana laughed quietly. "We had a sleepover tonight. A real one."

"Ah, method acting, of course." JYP chuckled. "I'm glad you picked up, actually. I called you first, but your phone went straight to voicemail."

 _Oh_ , Sana thought. She had forgotten to charge her phone in her rush to Dahyun's room. "Sorry about that," she said.

"Don't sweat it. Anyway, I'll make this brief. I'm sure you're wondering why I called you at five in the morning."

Sana hummed. "That _is_ something I would like to know."

"Well, the episode was released tonight, and the viewers loved it. Our ratings have been climbing, but they skyrocketed after this one."

"That's great!" Sana squealed. Chaeyoung groaned again, and Sana covered the phone's mic with her hand, to mouth "sorry" at the girl.

"Yes, it is. And you and Dahyun were the stars."

Sana wasn't expecting that. _Huh._ She brought the receiver back up to her lips. "Thank you for telling me, Dahyun will be very happy to hear that."

"I hope so. But Sana, there's more."

"What?" Sana was suddenly aware of the beating of her heart.

"The public loved it, but someone else did too."

Sana felt something looming over her. "And who was that?"

"A broadcast network. You and Dahyun have been invited to be co-stars on a TV series."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meet cliff, last name hanger.
> 
> god this chapter was hard to write. my first draft was pretty easy to write, but then i reread it and realized its pacing was straight-up trash. i had to edit it really intensely, and then my chrome browser crashed and i lost all of my work! haha! hahahahahah! that's what i get for not keeping all my edits on my google doc, though.
> 
> anyway, i'm so soft for saida in this chapter. the scene in their bedroom was my favorite to write so far. also, i love me a good slow burn, but it's just as hard writing a slow burn as it is to read one :(. i just want to get to the super fluffy parts already.
> 
> hope you guys liked it! please leave a comment / give kudos if you did to make my day :)


	3. onward!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on this episode of "oh my god i can't believe people actually read the stuff i write", this fic got its first comments here!! ahhh!!!!
> 
> ryzen_beauty, kate, thatonetacokid, and dubudubu, you guys made my day. while i was writing this chapter i thought a lot about what you all said <3\. thanks for keeping me up :)
> 
> oh, and this is officially my longest work! it's crazy, because this came completely out of nowhere. and it's funny to me how i can write over 10k words in less than a week, but I can't even start my summer homework (yikes!). i'm feeling productive because i have a job and i'm writing this fic, but, wow, i'm going to regret it later.
> 
> anyway! i love you all and i hope you enjoy this chapter.

Sana set the phone down after JYP hung up. There was a faint buzzing at the edge of her hearing. The darkness of the room seemed to undulate, creeping further and further into her space.

She didn't want to think about it on her own.

She needed to talk to Dahyun.

Sana looked down. Her best friend was curled in on herself, chest rising and falling evenly.

She hated doing it, but Sana leaned down to cup her hands around the other girl's ear.

"Dahyun. Dahyun, I need you to wake up," she whispered.

Unsurprisingly, the girl didn't budge. Sana sighed. "Dahyun!" she whispered, more insistently that time, giving Dahyun a shake.

No response.

She cringed and shook Dahyun again, harder than she would have wanted to, and at long last, Dahyun's eyes flew open. 

"Sana? What time is it?" the girl asked blearily, scrubbing at her eyes with her palms.

"Come outside with me," Sana said, voice low. The space between Dahyun's eyebrows creased, but she silently nodded. 

Sana led Dahyun through the girls' living room and out the front door. She stepped out onto the front porch and walked to the small, wooden bench they had bought all those years ago. Sana dropped onto the bench and released a breath that she felt like she had been holding onto for a while.

Dahyun sat down next to her, eyes bleary. "Sana, what's all this about?"

The words bubbled up within Sana until she felt she could hold onto them no longer.

"We're leaving TWICE TV," Sana blurted out. She bit her lip, a roiling mess of emotion settling in her stomach.

Dahyun sat up, instantly alert. "Were...we fired?" she asked.

Sana shook her head quickly. "No. Kind of the opposite."

Brows furrowing even more, Dahyun just looked at her.

"We've been hired by a TV series as co-stars."

Dahyun's eyebrows shot up. "Us?" she said, a small, disbelieving laugh escaping her lips.

Sana nodded.

Leaning back, Dahyun let out a small huff. "I would have thought it'd be Tzuyu, Nayeon or Mina first."

Sana studied the ground. The concrete was strewn with small pieces of organic matter and wet with morning dew. The familiar smell of petrichor swamped her senses, and Sana swallowed, pushing a nostalgia-shaped lump back down her throat.

"I don't want to go," Sana said. "I -" she felt the warm throb of unshed tears and blinked a couple of times. "I'm scared."

"Why?" asked Dahyun, turning to Sana, eyes wide and searching.

Sana looked at Dahyun, whose gaze steadied as she looked back.

"You can tell me," Dahyun said, placing a hand on Sana's knee.

Every fiber of her being resisted telling Dahyun. She felt like she was asking too much to have Dahyun listen to her. There was an unyielding barrier in her mind whenever she would think about vocalizing what she had been feeling for the longest time.

But this was Dahyun, and she was looking at her like she would sit there and listen even if Sana talked for hours.

"I don't want things to change," Sana said. A small harsh laugh dragged its way out of her throat and she sniffed, wiping an eye quickly with the back of her hand. "It's so silly."

Dahyun's hand tightened. "It's not silly," she said, eyes soft at the edges. 

"I'm scared. Of a lot. I don't want to leave TWICE TV. We'll be the only ones leaving, and I'm going to miss everyone so much. We're the only ones moving on, and I don't think I'm good enough for it. I'm going to mess this all up." Sana swallowed hard as the thickness weighed down her throat. "I'm not good enough. I'm the worst actress of us all, and I only got this job because I'm close to you."

She heard Dahyun inhale sharply and felt her take her hand.

"Sana Minatozaki, you're my best friend, but that's the dumbest thing I've heard all year."

Sana glanced up to see Dahyun looking at her, wide and open.

"First of all, we're still going to live here. We won't be working with our group, but we'll still see them every day. And have to listen to them snore like baby lions," Dahyun said, right corner of her lip quirking upwards. Sana couldn't help but give a watery smile.

"But besides that, if I'm good enough for this job? There's no way you aren't. People adore you. I mean, jeez, you came to the U.S. at what, 10? 11? After speaking Japanese your entire life, you learned how to speak English without an accent and better than most native speakers. That's so cool, and you're the fastest learner I know."

Sana felt something melting in her stomach as Dahyun spoke.

"And don't even get me started on your acting! Your acting is so special. I still don't even know how you have the charisma you do on set. Or how you can keep your same charisma even when you switch up from being one person to a totally different one at a moment's notice. And I've trained with you for almost a decade now!"

A shaky laugh escaped Sana's throat, unbidden.

"The point is, you're Sana Minatozaki. You're a star in every way. I haven't met a person who can resist your charms. You bring our whole group up with your positive energy, and you always bring me up too. Not just emotionally, but as an actress, too." Dahyun smiled. "You bring out the best in me."

There was a silence, where they could only hear the distant rumble of a lone car and the rustling of leaves in the night wind.

Sana's heart felt like it was still, only beating once every eternity.

The thickness in her throat was still there, but it was being melted away by the warm, burning sensation that was rising through her body..

"You're more than enough for this," Dahyun said, voice low.

"And just like you're always telling me: it'll all be okay."

The burning in her throat moved to behind her eyes. She blinked rapidly.

"Thank you," Sana said softly. She blinked again, and a tear slipped down her cheek. But it was met by the pad of Dahyun's thumb, which wiped it away.

"Come on," Dahyun said, smiling at Sana and rising to her feet. She offered Sana her hand. "We should try to get some sleep before the big day tomorrow."

Sana took it and looked into Dahyun's eyes, hoping she could possibly comprehend the gratitude that suffused Sana's entire body at that moment.

* * *

The group was chattering away as usual as they walked to the studio that day.

Correction: some of them were.

Chaeyoung was chasing Jeongyeon, who laughed over her shoulder as she jogged away and held Chaeyoung's phone high. Stretching her own arms high above her head, Chaeyoung jumped for her phone in vain. "Jeong," she whined. "Give me my phone back!"

Sana was talking about them with Momo and Mina in Japanese, laughing as Chaeyoung tried jumping higher and higher but could never quite reach Jeongyeon, when a text tone sounded from a few of their phones.

Sana reached for her phone, but stopped when she realized it was still dead. 

Jeongyeon stopped walking. "Oh? What's this? You got a text?" she directed over her shoulder at Chaeyoung. She pressed her finger to Chaeyoung's home button and unlocked it.

Chaeyoung yelped. "Don't read my texts!" She lunged for her phone again.

Turning so that she was walking backwards, Jeongyeon raised her arms disarmingly. "Chill, Chaeng! It's gotta be a text in the TWICE TV group chat," Jeongyeon said. "I wouldn't do you like that."

"You know you very well might," Nayeon said. Jeongyeon jostled her lightly, then tapped Chaeyoun's screen.

Sana saw Jeongyeon's eyebrows shoot up. "Oh? Guys, check this out."

She stopped in her tracks and turned the brightness up on the phone, shoving it out for the group to look at. The girls crowded around the phone to see.

 **Papa Lion:** SANA AND DAHYUN, YOU HAVE THE DAY OFF. REPORT TO MY OFFICE UPON YOUR ARRIVAL!

Sana groaned internally. Of course, JYP would never let them be subtle about this. She felt seven sets of eyes swivel toward her and Dahyun. Dahyun's eyes turned toward her, a silent question in her burnished eyes.

Shaking her head almost imperceptibly, Sana pleaded with her eyes. Dahyun's brows furrowed and she looked away from Sana. 

"Do you know what he's calling you for?" Jihyo asked.

Sana cleared her throat. "He said he had some type of news for us, but I don't know what it is," she said, the lie scalding her throat.

Jihyo looked at her, eyes searching. Sana looked away.

"I'm sure it could only be good news," Mina said.

"Yeah," said Dahyun. "Me too."

* * *

 Sana and Dahyun said their goodbyes to the group at the studio's door. As the group walked to the set, Sana and Dahyun turned into an empty hallway, at the end of which was JYP's office.

SIlence stretched between them.

"When are you going to tell the others?"

Sana watched JYP's office door come closer and closer. "Soon," she said.

"Okay," Dahyun said. "I trust you."

They arrived at the door and Sana rapped on the frosted glass surface twice.

"Come in!"

Sana opened the door and held it for Dahyun before walking inside and letting the door swing shut behind her. 

JYP swung around in his swivel chair. "Sit, sit," he said, nodding to the two chairs in front of his desk. His hair was wayward, as usual, and he steepled his fingers on the desk. There was an irreverent air to JYP and his office. The man's tie was almost always crooked, his hair was never gelled, and he had a row of baseball player bobbleheads lined up on his desk. He was amazing at his job, but coming into his office always made Sana feel more at ease. If everything else in her life was going wrong, at the very least she wasn't a shameless bobblehead collector. 

They sat, and JYP looked at Dahyun. "I trust Sana told you the news?"

Dahyun nodded. 

"Have you told the other members yet?"

Sana felt her gut plummet. "No," she said. "I wasn't ready to tell them this morning."

JYP's eyes softened at the edges. "I wouldn't have expected you to. Not knowing you."

Avoiding his gaze, Sana nodded.

"I brought you two here to fill out the paperwork, of course, but what I really want to do is talk," JYP said, the slightest furrow in his brows. "This is a pretty big transition for you two, and I want to know how you feel about it."

"Well, I'm nervous, of course," the other girl admitted. "But mainly because it's all so sudden, I don't feel much beyond that, except for that I'm so glad I'll be doing this with Sana," she gave Sana a small smile, who couldn't help but smile back, even with the churning of her gut. 

JYP grimaced. "I'm sorry about that. I've been talking with the company for a little while now, but I didn't want to get your hopes up if it all fell through."

That was so JYP, Sana thought. The man would throw himself in front of a moving train to protect his actors.

"And you, Sana?"

Sana startled. "Eh?"

"How do you feel?"

Memories of silent, suffocating classroom walls rose, unbidden, to Sana's mind. "I think you know how I feel," she said, casting her eyes down. "I -" Sana swallowed. "I feel really, really scared."

That didn't begin to sum it up, but she knew JYP understood what she meant. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dahyun watching her closely, worry in her eyes.

JYP leaned back in his chair. He took off his glasses and wiped them on his shirt. "You know, you don't need to sign if you don't want to," he said, inspecting his glasses closely.

"I won't force you. I'd just tell the company no." 

Shock flooded Sana's body. "What? No," she said. "You've been waiting for this deal forever!"

JYP shook his head. "No. You have." He settled his glasses back on the bridge of his nose. "This is your life, Sana. No company can dictate that."

Ears ringing, Sana just shook her head in disbelief. It sounded too good to be true. JYP was going to let a deal like this go? A deal like that could jumpstart Sana and Dahyun's careers, possibly earning him millions of dollars. She couldn't fathom passing that much money up.

Yet, she might just be about to. JYP was giving her the choice to refuse the deal. To stay with TWICE TV, to stay with her friends.

To stay where she couldn't get hurt. To stay away from unfamiliar people.

To stay where it was safe.

_Safe._

A wave of shame crashed over Sana when she realized.

Sana hadn't grown at all.

She really still was the timid little ten year old. 

Finally looking at Dahyun, Sana saw her waiting, gaze trained on the opposite wall, an unaffected mask of indifference settled upon her features.

The hard line of her jaw.

 _I really am a fool,_  Sana thought.

The jittery energy she had accumulated was suddenly replaced by a cool blanket of calm, settling across her body

"No," she said simply.

JYP's eyebrows rose a notch, and Dahyun spun to face her, eyes wide.

"It's not necessary. I'll sign."

"Are you sure?" JYP asked. "The signature is legally binding. There's no going back without a huge legal hassle."

Sana kept her gaze trained on JYP and shrugged.

"I've learned that some things are worth taking risks for."

In her peripheral vision, Sana watched as Dahyun's lips, parted in surprise, slowly crooked their way up.

* * *

The next few hours were a blur of paperwork, and soon, it was five o'clock. The time that the rest of the girls got out of work. 

"I'll take it from here, girls," JYP said, half-hidden beneath a stack of papers. "You'll start on Monday. Happy Friday, and don't make those other girls wait too long!"

Sana and Dahyun chorused their thank-yous, Sana bowing at the waist multiple times.

Then they left to find the others, the door swinging shut with a final squeak of its hinges.

They found the other girls waiting at the door to the studio. 

"Oh good, you're here!" Chaeyoung said, sighing, relief apparent in her tone. "We were just about to give up."

"Sorry to keep you all waiting!" Sana said. Dahyun stepped next to her and they exchanged glances. 

"We have some news," Dahyun said.

"Finally! Took you long enough," Jeongyeon said. Nayeon slapped her on her bicep. 

Sana felt the girls' eyes on her. She looked at Dahyun, who nodded, and Sana took a breath.

"DahyunandIsignedacontracttobeonatvshowpleasedon'tbemad."

Silence.

Jeongyeon blinked. "What?"

"Sana and I got cast as co-stars in a TV show run by XYZ Entertainment," Dahyun said. "We're leaving TWICE TV."

Sana was grateful for how well-spoken her best friend was, but she winced at her bluntness.

Shock spread its way across the other girls' features, with widened eyes and hanging jaws.

"What?" Jeongyeon repeated.

Sana felt a pit of anxiety grow in her stomach. Glancing at Dahyun, Sana saw the other girl hunched in on herself, eyes a little wider than normal. 

When she saw how clearly anxious her best friend was, the ball of nerves in her gut began to burn into a simmering sensation, irritation pricking at her sides. 

Right as Sana was opening her mouth to speak - to say what, she hadn't figured out yet - she heard Jihyo's voice.

"I always knew you two would be first."

That jolted Sana out of the headspace she was in.

"You did?" Dahyun asked, voice small.

Jihyo nodded. "There's something special about the two of you."

Sana felt her body slowly turn towards their defacto leader, her mind working to process Jihyo's words. 

"There's something special about all of us, of course, but when you two are together you have that "It" factor. Instead of masking each others' imperfections, you highlight them, play off of them," Jihyo continued. "As actresses, but as normal people too. And the characters you create together are phenomenal," she said, smiling.

"Honestly, I'm not shocked at all. The news just came out of nowhere. It took me off guard for a minute."

Dahyun snorted. "That makes two of us."

"Three of us," said Jeongyeon, mouth still hanging open.

"Four of us," Momo said.

"All of us, really," said Tzuyu. "But I think I speak for all of us when I say we couldn't be happier for you two."

"You deserve it," Mina said softly. "You're two of the best people I know."

Sana felt the hard knot in her stomach begin to thaw, suffusing her whole body with warmth.

"I give you guys shit for always falling or watching Glee or sleeping like a dead man, but I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to have gotten a deal like this first," Jeongyeon said, smiling at Sana and Dahyun.

"We love you both so much," Chaeyoung sniffled. "I'm gonna miss you guys," she said, a tear streaking down her face.

Heart wrenching, her conversation with Dahyun the night sprung to Sana's mind. "We'll still live together! It's okay, Chaeng!" Chaeyoung just sniffed again and nodded, but another tear slipped its way down her cheek.

Sana couldn't help but feel her own eyes water up at the sight.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I think you guys know what this calls for," Tzuyu said.

Momo's head snapped over to look at Tzuyu. "I think I'm catching your drift."

Dahyun groaned. "No, guys, not now, we'll block the doorway!"

"I don't get it," Jeongyeon said blankly.

Momo grinned. "On three, yeah?"

Tzuyu nodded. 

"One...two... _three!_ "

"Group hug!" Momo caterwauled, and crashed into Sana.

Sana let out a scream that turned into a laugh, and soon she was beset upon by a wide variety of flailing limbs and flying hair. She spit out a piece of Momo's hair, and looked behind her.

"Dahyunnie!" she called. "This is your group hug too!"

"No, no, no," Dahyun moaned, covering her eyes. "I'm going to suffocate in there!"

Sana took the opportunity to grab Dahyun's wrist, quick as a snake. The other girl's eyes widened comically as Sana, with a quick jolt, pulled Dahyun flush against her. The other girls cheered and enveloped Dahyun into the circle. 

"Why, oh why am I so foolish," Dahyun groaned as she and Sana were jostled around at the center of the circle. Sana giggled and pressed a few quick pecks onto the top of Dahyun's head.

"I'm going to get trampled!"

"Don't worry, I'll protect you, fair maiden," Sana said in a rough, low-pitched voice.

Dahyun rolled her eyes. "That's a terrible imitation."

"What can I say?" Sana asked, batting her eyelashes. "Imitation is still the highest form of flattery."

Dahyun huffed, but as the other girls continued to laugh and push each other around, she couldn't help but smile.

* * *

After that, the group decided that they would go to Jack's Stacks to celebrate.

"And I kinda don't want to cook," said Momo.

So they all piled out the door and walked to the diner. The sun dipped below the horizon, dying the sky with flaming sanguine hues like paint spreading through water.

When they arrived, bell on the door tinkling behind them, the man at the counter looked up. "Oi! Well if it isn't my favorite customers," he said. Turning to look at Momo, he grinned. "And my favorite prospective chef."

Momo smiled, softer at the edges than usual. "Maybe someday, Jack. How are you tonight?"

"Pretty good, pretty good, business has been slow at this time of night, as usual," he said as he cleaned a glass. "But go on, have a seat at your booth in the corner."

There was one that almost all of them could fit at - an "L" shaped booth curved into the corner. So it was where they sat every time they ate at Jack's.

"Sana, Dahyun, you get to go first," Jihyo said with a smile. "Our rising stars have to be in the middle, of course."

Dahyun frowned. "Isn't that actually the worst spot though?"

Sana shushed her. "Let's go, Dahyunnie! We get to be squished in the middle right next to each other," she said, smiling as she pinched Dahyun's cheek.

"Fine."

They all squeezed into the booth, except for Jihyo, who pulled up a chair to sit at the front of the table. "I just confirmed our orders," she said. "If you want something different than usual, speak now or forever hold your peace."

No one moved, and Jihyo nodded. "I figured."

Chaeyoung spun to face Dahyun next to her. "So, how do you feel!" she asked, eyes sparkling. "Are you excited?"

Dahyun grinned at her roommate. "You bet I am! I was mostly nervous before," she said, casting a glance at Sana. "But it's really sinking in now and I just want to start."

"Do you guys think you're ready?" Momo asked from Sana's right.

Sana and Dahyun looked at each other simultaneously. Taking Dahyun's hand, Sana let a small smile creep across her lips. "Yeah. I think we are."

"You guys are the cutest best friends," Chaeyoung said, pretending to swoon. "You're so lucky to have gotten this job together!"

"Yeah," echoed Momo. "It's great."

Sana frowned at Momo. "You know, speaking of best friends," she began, lowering her voice. "What's going on with you and Mina?" The other girl was sitting at the opposite side of the table, as far from Momo as she could be. 

_Most unusual._

Momo jolted in her seat. "What? What are you referring to? It's nothing."

Sana waggled her brows. "Oh, so there's something to refer to?"

Sputtering, Momo shook her head. "No - I mean yes, but no-"

Sana would have laughed but that would only freak Momo out even more. "It's okay, Momo," she said. "I'm just messing with you."

Momo sighed. "I don't know," she admitted. "We took a contemporary class together last night, then played Sorry after dinner, and now she won't talk to me," she sighed again, hands running through her hair. "I can't figure it out."

Sympathy flooded Sana as she saw Momo blink, eyes bright. "I'm sure it really is nothing," she said, placing her hand on Momo's arm. "You two have a super strong bond! You grew up with her and now you've gone through intense acting training together," she continued and Momo brought her gaze up to meet hers. "I'm absolutely sure it'll be okay."

Mina and Momo were like the sun and the moon. Mina, usually withdrawn and bashful, would brighten whenever she was in a room with Momo, becoming more relaxed, open and prone to smiling. Likewise, Momo was usually untethered and scattered, but Mina would pull her back down to earth, soothing her on bad days and keeping her in check.

"Thanks," Momo said, giving Sana a small, closed-lip smile. "That's really reassuring to hear."

Sana beamed at her, then looked across the table at Mina. The other girl was staring at them, with unnamable expression. When she saw Sana looking, she quickly turned away.

_Odd._

But before Sana could think too deeply into it, Jack walked up to the table, platters of food in hand.

"One feast, coming right up!"

Momo straightened, her eyes shining. "You never disappoint, old man!" she said as she eyed the plates.

"Oh, y'know, you pick up a thing or two, being in a chef's apron for over half of your life." He chuckled as he set down the last plate.

Dusted off his hands, Jack beamed at the girls, most of whom were staring at their food. "Is there anything else I can get for you ladies?"

There was a beat of silence. 

"I think we're more than good here, Jack," Jihyo said, corner of her mouth twitching upwards. "Thank you for being superb, as always."

Jack dipped into an exaggerated bow. "It was my pleasure." He grinned at them and took his leave.

Blueberry waffles never failed to settle Sana's mind, and they certainly didn't fail then. Sana took one bite into the fluffy, buttery dough and bliss flooded her senses, tasting like the sweet, tangy juice of in-season blueberries.

Thinking of what the future might have in store for her made Sana feel like there was a leaden weight on her chest. If she made a single wrong move, it would all come crashing down.

Sana didn't think she would ever be comfortable with the idea of change.

But thankfully, she had eight wonderful constants in her life to help her bear the weight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, next chapter, i do believe saida will begin to set sail. slowly....but surely...it's happening.
> 
> this was a transition chapter and it was _hell_ to write. i'm not totally happy with it because i feel like the flow is off, since my best writing doesn't happen in chapters like these. but when is writing ever easy? i'll edit this a bit more, but i mainly wanted to get it out fast for you guys! it really is so good to be writing again.
> 
> drop a kudos or a comment if you're so inclined. i'd really appreciate it :)


	4. barreling forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please suspend disbelief at a few points during this chapter. i'm not going to pretend to know anything about making a tv show. the only things i know are from reading fictional books ;(
> 
> And I'm not trying to copy any companies since I don't have the capacity to research how they actually work....so XYZ Entertainment happened.
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this one! it's extra long this time. shoutouts to fooledbyrandomness, horcruxapollo, and ostrichyoda for making me smile so much and to the amazing ryzen_beauty and Olemonade for their super beautiful & thoughtful comments!

The weekend passed by in a blur.

To celebrate Sana and Dahyun's last days as TWICE TV employees, the rest of the group agreed to stay in the whole weekend.

They spent their two days off getting way too competitive over board games and being roped into watching Glee, as per Dahyun's request. Sana swore that anywhere she went in the house that weekend, she was followed by Rachel Berry's high-pitched caterwauling.

But it was over all too fast, and before Sana knew it Monday had crept up on her.

She woke up that morning and Momo and Mina were already gone. The morning's stillness must have gotten to her, because Sana felt a pang of loneliness, almost wishing she had slept over at Dahyun's again.

Sana quickly got dressed and headed out into the kitchen, where she was greeted by a lively scene of all eight of her members.

Warmth bubbled up in Sana's stomach as she stopped in her tracks, taking in the sight.

Sitting at the table was Dahyun, with Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and Jihyo surrounding her, chatting animatedly. Momo was standing in front of a sizzling pan, wearing her "Kiss the Cook, But Don't Touch the Buns!" apron that Mina had gotten her two Christmases ago. 

On the couch, Mina and Nayeon were talking in low tones, heads inclined toward one another. Tzuyu was sitting by the window, staring intensely at their mini-cactus, Katniss, for reasons that Sana probably didn't want to think too hard about.

"Food's ready!" Momo yelled as she turned, pan in hand.

She saw Sana in the doorway and smiled. "Oh hey, look who's finally up!"

Sana felt her eyes crinkle up as she smiled back. "I thought you had all left already!"

Nayeon and Mina turned to look at her from the couch. "Morning, Sana!" Mina called.

"Nope," Momo said, popping the "p". "We wanted to send you guys off with a hearty breakfast and some quality companionship."

"Quality companionship is right!" Jeongyeon laughed, wrapping an arm around Dahyun's neck and ruffling her hair.

"Jeong, my hair! It's gonna be my first day!"

Sana giggled. Her best friend's face was turned into her classic pout, tilting to the side to look at Jeongyeon. 

Momo walked up to Sana, two paper bags in hand. 

"Since we figured you guys wouldn't have time for a sit-down breakfast, we decided to pack you breakfast." She glared at Jihyo. "Or, some of us voted, and one of us had to actually make it."

Jihyo raised a brow at her. "You can't pretend like you didn't volunteer for this, Momo Hirai!" she called. 

A huff of air escaped Momo's lips. "Yeah, right." She held out the bags to Sana. "Just take these, and get out before you're late."

Sana's face hurt from smiling so much, so she stood up on tiptoe and kissed Momo's cheek.

"Thank you," she murmured. 

Face reddening, Momo waved her off. "Get out! Go rescue your best friend!"

Laughing, Sana looked over at Dahyun, who was trying to wriggle out of the grip of Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung. Marching over to them, Sana took Dahyun's hand.

"Sorry ladies, but this one's all mine," Sana said, winking.

Chaeyoung whined and Jeongyeon gave a "no fair!" but they released Dahyun, who stumbled out of their arms to stand near Sana.

"We love you!" Jihyo called, cupping her hands around her mouth. "You're going to be phenomenal!"

"Represent us well, or else!" Jeongyeon said.

"Take many pictures and videos!" Mina said, waving.

"Don't flirt with all the guys on the first day, Sana. Leave some for day two," Tzuyu deadpanned.

"Watch over Sana, Dahyun," Nayeon added.

"And take care of Dahyun, Sana!" Chaeyoung said, eyes suspiciously bright.

Sana just nodded and moved toward, feeling hot pinpricks of wetness at the corners of her eyes. 

"We love you guys!" Dahyun said, beaming. "We'll tell you all about it tonight!"

Pulling the door open, Sana held it open for Dahyun, who blew kisses to the other members and did the princess wave while walking backwards through the doorway. Sana halfheartedly rolled her eyes, but right as she stepped out of the door, she blew the room a kiss of her own.

* * *

They arrived at the studio with five minutes to spare. Sana had just received the details of their first day from JYP.

"You are to meet with the executive director of XYZ Entertainment, Merrin Powers, who will be overseeing the production of the show. She takes a very hands-on approach to her work, so she will be doing most of the producing of your show. She's friendly, but don't let your guard down!" Sana read from the email JYP had just sent, Dahyun standing on tip-toe to look over her shoulder.

"Well, that's a little ominous," Dahyun said, dropping back to her feet.

 "Ugh, it's just like JYP to be so mysterious, too." Sana sighed. "That man loves drama."

"I'd hope so," Dahyun said, eyes sparkling. "He is the manager of an acting agency, after all."

Sana couldn't help but let a laugh bubble up from her stomach, as she pinched Dahyun's cheek.

Then, she heard the clicking of heels behind her, which came to a quick stop.

"Ah, the iconic friendship of Sana Minatozaki and Dahyun Kim. How refreshing to see!"

Spinning around, Sana came face to face with a giant of a woman. She was dressed in a sharp black suit, the severity of her outfit at odds with the beaming smile on her face.

"Hi, you two. I'm Merrin Powers, but you can call me Merrin," she said, smile widening at the stunned looks on Sana and Dahyun's faces. "I promise I don't bite?"

As if shaking herself out of a daze, Dahyun nodded rapidly. "Good to meet you, Merrin. I'm Dahyun and this is..." She trailed off.

"Actually, I'm sorry, I guess you already know that?" Dahyun said, a sheepish smile upon her face.

Merrin laughed. "Yes, I did, but it's no problem. If you two would come this way, please?"

She walked off. Sana and Dahyun exchanged a look, then followed.

Walking through the lobby, Sana felt very out of place. The room was almost all black - black countertops, sleek black walls, and plush black furniture - with silver accents.

Merrin's chosen aesthetic certainly didn't match her persona.

The three stopped in a room off to the side. "This is going to be your break room," she said. "Reserved for you and your co-stars. It may be a little small, but I trust everything will be okay."

Sana saw Dahyun taking in the room, eyes wide. She couldn't help but marvel as well. The room was not small by any stretch of the word. It was mostly black, like the lobby, and was fitted with sleek silver amenities and appliances. It looked like it was all automated. Sana saw an automated coffee-maker, an automated blinds system, and even a contraption that looked like it was an automated toaster and butter-er all in one.

_Ridiculous, but so cool._

Sana met Dahyun's gaze, and based on her saucer-wide eyes, she felt the same.

"Your wardrobe will usually be in that closet," Merrin said, pointing to a black door on the other side of the room. "Right now it's out on set, which is where we're going next."

She walked out of the room, Dahyun mouthing " _crazy"_ to Sana before they followed suit.

They made their way down a hallway that opened up into a wide, well-lit room. The sun streamed in through a glass roof and illuminated a series of large wooden structures in the middle. 

“Those structures are sets for a different show we’re doing,” Merton said. “Don’t worry about them. Your sets actually aren’t here.”

Dahyun’s brow furrowed. “Where are they?”

There was a gleam in Merrin’s eye when she replied. 

“My assistant will brief you on the details now, but after that, get ready. We’re going out.”

* * *

The role Sana was going to play was the main love interest of the co-star she had yet to meet and the best friend of Dahyun’s character. 

Dahyun, Sana and their male co-star were to be the main characters. It still hadn't sunk in for Sana yet. She couldn't believe she and Dahyun got to star in a TV series, right out of their time training at TWICE TV. She wondered what Merrin had seen in them, to cast them in central roles so quickly.

Shizuko, Sana's character, was vivacious and bold. She was a second generation Japanese woman working as a saleswoman, and she was to meet Shaun Stone, Sana and Dahyun's co-star's character, as she let off steam at the club.

Or at least, that was how it appeared.

Sana's eyes bugged out of her head when the assistant director told her. 

"This is a  _what?_ "

"A superhero series. Combined with a normal, relatable drama. Like Supergirl, but a bit more mature."

Dahyun grinned. "Oh, I can get behind this!"

The show would not be marketed as a superhero series. As the pilot episode progressed, it would gradually be revealed that Shizuko was not just a a saleswoman - she was a superhero working with an underground superhero organization against some omniscient evil force. It was a risk, but Merrin was apparently known for taking risks, and she hoped the twist would give the show a lot of press coverage.

Sana didn't listen too much to that part. "What are my powers?" she blurted out as soon as the assistant director finished.

The assistant director laughed and Sana blushed, feeling like she was a kid again.

"Shizuko can control the speed at which particles move. So she basically has heat manipulation."

"Coooooool," said Dahyun, mouth hanging open. "What're mine?"

"Reactive adaptation. Your body automatically changes to best survive in your environment."

"Like if I was underwater I could give myself gills?"

The assistant director nodded. "It would automatically happen. Now, if your character wanted to give yourself stronger legs to run faster - something that isn't necessary for your environment - it would take effort. You'll have to work on portraying that."

Dahyun saluted. "Aye aye, captain."

As the assistant director walked them through more of the plot and intricacies of the characters' relationships, Sana felt excitement prickling through her body like it was static. It felt like barely any time had passed when the assistant director checked his watch.

"It's about time to shoot a few parts of the first episode." He looked up at Sana and Dahyun.

"Are you ready?"

Sana and Dahyun got to their feet.

"So ready," said Sana.

* * *

Sana, Dahyun, and the assistant director went out to the back of XYZ Entertainment's studio, where there was a driver waiting for them in a gleaming Mercedes-Benz.

"This is so fancy," Dahyun whispered. "I feel like I'm going to wake up in my bed and realize it's all a dream."

Sana nodded. TWICE TV had treated them well, but with nowhere near the level of opulence of XYZ Entertainment.

The assistant director opened the door for them and Sana and Dahyun clambered in the backseat. He shut the door and the car started with a lurch.

About ten minutes had passed when the driver pulled to a stop. "We've arrived, Ms. Minatozaki, Ms. Kim."

"Thank you!" they chorused, and Dahyun opened the door and held it for Sana.

"What do you think?" she asked when Sana emerged. "Would you ever let me be your chauffeur?"

Sana looked up at Dahyun and fluttered her lashes. "Are you propositioning me?"

Wiggling her eyebrows, Dahyun winked. "Maybe so."

Sana felt her nose and the corners of her eyes crinkle up as she took Dahyun's arm. 

"Chauffeur me, then."

They walked into the building the driver had pointed out, arm in arm. 

What greeted them was a scene of sheer chaos.

People were frantically scurrying about: some with clipboards, some with boxes, some with lighting fixtures. A few voices were always yelling at a time, and there was a hollow clattering as two people carrying wooden planks bumped into each other and dropped their cargo.

Sana and Dahyun were standing arm in arm in the doorway, frozen, when a voice greeted them.

"Sana Minatozaki and Dahyun Kim! It's so good to see you in the flesh!"

A broadly smiling man walked up to them, a spring in his step and an unaffected air about him.

"Hi," Sana said. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

The man laughed and held out his hand. "The name's Jax. Your co-star."

"Ah, I'm so sorry!" Sana exclaimed, bringing her hand to her forehead. "We just got caught up on everything this morning and didn't even have time to look you up, I'm so sorry."

She went to shake Jax's hand but he took it and brought it to his lips, kissing the back. "It's no problem at all," he said.

Sana suddenly felt a flutter of nervousness as she looked into his deep brown eyes.

"Hi! I'm Dahyun," Dahyun said, coming to stand next to her. She held out her hand to Jax. "It's nice to meet you!"

Jax turned to her, his smile going softer. He shook Dahyun's hand. "Dahyun Kim, one of the most talented rising stars in America."

Dahyun laughed and lightly scratched the back of her head - a tic of hers. "Oh, I wouldn't go that far at all."

"I definitely would."

Sana saw a range of emotions flit across Dahyun's face before the other girl inclined her head in thanks.

"Jax!"

They turned and saw Merrin power-walking toward Jax, who visibly recoiled. "Shit," he muttered.

"What do you think you're doing? We have so many scenes we need to film of you in this building today! All these people running around are for you, so stop flirting and get back to work!"

"Ouch," Jax winced. "But you're right. I'll be going, then."

He turned to cast a quick wink at Sana and Dahyun. "I'll see you ladies later tonight," he said.

Sana watched him go.

"What did he mean?" asked Dahyun.

Merrin's lips quirked up in a smile. "Oh, you'll see. But first, we've got some scenes to shoot of you, Sana."

* * *

For the next few hours, they did character work. Sana, Dahyun, and Merrin delved even more deeply into their characters' psyches and tested out how they would play certain scenes.

Working with Merrin was so easy. Sana wasn't sure if that was a testament to her training or a testament to the woman herself, but she bet it was both.

After a while, Merrin took Sana to an office in the building. There, they shot a few of the mundane scenes of the first episode. 

It was surreal. Sana slipped into Shizuko's character like she had known her her whole life. Merrin praised her for how good she was for her first day, and in just an hour Merrin said they had the perfect take for what they needed.

"So," Merrin said, drawing out the word as she packed up her notes. "I bet you're wondering what we're all going to be doing tonight?"

Sana nodded. "You made it seem so mysterious."

"Well, it's not exactly typical for a first day, but this isn't a typical show."

Merrin smiled wide. "We're going to be working tonight."

Sana felt her shoulders tense, but she let out a breath through her nose and felt some of the stress dissipate. "You're right. That's not typical for a first day."

The woman broke out into laughter. 

"Wow, you handled like that like a champ," she said. "You're something else, Sana Minatozaki."

Confusion flooded Sana. "Wait, so are we not working tonight?"

"No, we still are. At least technically."

Eyeing the woman, Sana said, "Technically?"

"Well, we're going to a club. We'll bond as a team, then we'll film some scenes. Is that okay with you?"

Sana stopped listening after "club".

"Absolutely."

* * *

Neon pinpricks of light cut through the darkness, dancing across the walls to flash onto the ceiling and then back again.

The club was packed, wall to wall, and over the pounding bass and undercurrent of chitchat, Sana could barely hear herself think.

Trowdy chatter of the room quieted a fraction when a few people turned to watch their entry. 

"Hey, look, Merrin's finally here!"

The rest of the partygoers cheered and began ordering rounds of drinks.

"Who are these people?" Dahyun asked, taking in the scene. "They look too nice to be just club regulars."

"Dahyun!"

She shrugged. "It's a compliment."

Still leading the team to an open booth, Merrin looked over her shoulder. "That's pretty astute of you, actually. Some of these people are paid partygoers and hypemen, but the majority of them are volunteers who want a bit of stardom."

"Oh," Dahyun said. She was quiet as she looked out into the scene.

"Hopefully they'll get it tonight, if everything goes right," Jax said, smiling.

Dahyun snorted. "Yeah, you just want to go home."

"Dahyun!" Sana said again. 

Her best friend had the sense to look sheepish. "Sorry," she said. "I only meant it as a joke."

"No offense taken," Jax said, tone light.

"Come on!" Merrin called from ahead of them. "I just found us a booth!"

They all sat down at Merrin's booth.

"Could I get a round of vodka shots?" Merrin called out to one of the waiters, who nodded and rushed off.

She turned back to the table. "I hope you all drink," Merrin said, a gleam in her eye.

Sana looked at Dahyun. The girl usually didn't drink much.

"For tonight, I think I'll make an exception," Dahyun said.

"Good!" Merrin said, clapping her hands together. "Now, down to business." She leaned forward.

"I want to formally introduce you three. Sana and Dahyun, this is Jax Guevara. Jax, this is Sana Minatozaki and Dahyun Kim."

"Yes, we've met," Jax said, a twinkle in his eye. "But it's nice to meet you two again."

"More importantly, I want to introduce three other people."

Sana looked at her warily. Were there more main cast members she hadn't known about?

"Shizuko and Lena, this is Shaun. He's a real-estate investor by day and a member of a superhero regulation organization by night. His job is to shut you guys down."

Sana and Dahyun nodded. They had heard it from the assistant director already.

"You two are going to arrive at this club together, as normal best friends do, to meet Shaun. You'll have a few drinks, let off a bit of steam, and then Shizuko is going to meet Shaun to hash out a deal on the down-low. Lena is her backup, and she'll be watching the whole exchange."

"Okay, sure," Dahyun said. "Sounds good to me so far."

"In order to conceal what they're doing, Shizuko and Shaun are going to start flirting, like they're just normal people meeting at the club. They'll make the deal, then Shizuko is going to return to Lena's side, where she'll realize that she enjoyed the flirting a bit too much, and scene.

“ I want you three to reveal all of this slowly. This is the point at which you need to reveal to the audience that Shizuko, Lena, and Shaun are undercover superheroes and cops. It needs to seem like just a normal night at the club, and the flirting needs to seem natural." Merrin smiled at the waiter, who had just stopped to put down a tray of shots.

"You all need to be a little looser than usual. Hence the drinks on me," Merrin said. "And just because it's a fun bonding experience."

Sans laughed. "I’m not going to say no to that!” 

Jax took a shot glass and raised it. “Well then, cheers to our wonderful producer, Merrin Powers!”

The rest of them picked up their own glasses and raised them, then Sana brought her glass to her lips and downed it.

She felt the familiar line of fire sliding down her throat and into her belly, soon spreading to the rest of her body.

Chancing a look at Dahyun, Sana almost laughed. The girl’s nose was scrunched up and her hand was held to her throat, almost massaging it. 

“Not a fan of liquor, huh?” Jax said, not unkindly.

Dahyun shook her head, grimacing. “More like vodka isn’t a fan of me.”

Jax put a hand on his chest in pretend shock. “I’ll have to have some words with it, then. We go way back.”

Sana giggled, feeling light.

”I’m not sure if that’d work,” Dahyun sighed dramatically. “Knocked me out cold once. Vodka’s got something against me, I swear.”

“Better not associate too much, then.”

”Yeah, I’m not planning on it.”

They talked for a while as Merrin ordered a few more rounds of vodka. Apparently, Jax was deathly afraid of butterflies, due to a malfunction with a butterfly enclosure when he was six. Sana thought it was really cute.

Dahyun recounted the tale of how Sana, before TWICE TV started, managed to trip over her own two feet and spill her coffee all over a famous Hollywood movie director. Sana felt like her face was burning up as Merrin and Jax urged Dahyun to keep telling the story. 

As Dahyun finished the story and she and Jax were laughing at Sana’s misfortune, Merrin cleared her throat. 

“I hate to cut things off, I’m going to go talk to the camera crew briefly, and we’ll get rolling. Can you three get in position?”

”Sure,” Sana said.

The scene would begin with her and Dahyun walking through the door of the club, with Jax already inside. They’d head to the bar for some drinks, then Sana would leave to go make the deal with Jax.

So Sana and Dahyun found themselves waiting outside for Merrin to give them the go ahead.

The evening breeze was cool on Sana's face as she closed her eyes. She felt the presence of the vodka she'd drank in her stomach, warm and fuzzy. The world was a little more out of focus than usual, but Sana's head was clear.

”This never...gets less scary,” Dahyun said, jerkily bouncing on the balls of her feet. “It’s like, the moments before you’re on camera are the woorst, and but it all fades away once the camera’s in your face.”

Sana would usually agree. “That’s what usually happens for me, too,” she said. “But it’s almost like I haven’t registered that we’re doing this. That we’re the stars of what will probably be a major TV show.” Sana gave a short laugh. “It sounds even more surreal when I say it out loud.”

”Yeah,” said Dahyun, swaying a bit. "It kind of is.”

Sana eyed her, a bit of leaden apprehension settling in her stomach. "Are you drunk?"

"Maybe a little," Dahyun said, giving Sana a sloppy smile.

“Get ready!” Merrin called from inside the club. “We’ll be rolling in less than a minute!”

”Oh, god,” Sana muttered. “Well, that's fine for this scene. Shizuko and Lena are very wary. But they can’t show that, so they're pretending to be casual partygoers, who would have definitely pregamed for the night."

Dahyun hummed, still bouncing.

"Three...two...one..."

 _Well, no matter what, we'll try our best,_ Sana thought.

"Action!"

* * *

Muted shadows mingled together on the dark walls of the club, amidst the clamor of people trying to unwind on a Friday night and the thrumming, hazy bass beat.

Two silhouettes appeared in the doorway, stopping to talk to the bouncer, and then moving into the light.

They were about as different as night and day, but equally stunning.

One was outfitted in a fitted tan overcoat, under which was a clean-cut white collared shirt, buttoned up to her neck and tucked into a pair of tight-fitting black jeans. Topping it all off was a a tan plaid beret, skewed slightly to the side.

The other wore a sleek velvet dress, with a view offered by a slit on the side cut short by the end of a fur coat hanging off her shoulders. Her arm was loosely looped through the other woman's arm, and she was leaning most of her weight on the other girl.

They both stopped for a moment, to take in the raucous revelry on the neon-lit dance floor and the modern glam of the establishment.

"Wow," the one in tan breathed, adjusting her large wire-frame glasses. "I didn't know he'd want to meet someplace quite this...fancy."

The other woman gave her a quick look, then giggled, hanging off of her even more. She brought her mouth up to the other's ear.

"Come on," she said breathlessly. "Let's go get something to drink."

They made their way over to the bar, twisting through the maze of wobbling people and laughing friend groups to sit at the bar. 

"We'll have two shots of vodka, if you'd please," the woman in tan said to the bartender. She gave him a small smile while she cast her eyes around the area.

The woman in the velvet dress looked out into the crowd. "Oh, god, look, he's so hot," she said to her friend, tapping her on the shoulder and pointing. 

A man in a crisp black suit was chatting amiably with a woman in a plunging red dress on the side of the room. The woman at the bar watched him closely as he threw back his head to laugh, her eyes flitting up to his sparkling eyes and down to his chiseled jawline.

"I think I'm going to go talk to him," the woman said, standing up and smoothing her velvet dress. She turned to her best friend. "Watch our drinks closely for me, okay?"

The woman gave her a smile and then she walked off, hips swaying.

Wasting no time, the woman approached the man. His gaze rose to meet hers and he held it for a significant moment. His companion looked at the newcomer and frowned, about to open her mouth.

But the woman in the velvet dress delicately reached out and grabbed the man's tie, pulling them close.

"You're coming with me," she whispered. He nodded mutely and gave his old companion a sheepish smile.

She pulled him inside a bathroom and locked the door. Coming up to his ear, she whispered, "Is it secure?"

"Yes," he said. "I had them soundproof it beforehand."

The woman sighed. "Thank god. I can finally be myself again." She kicked off her stilettos. "By the way, I hate those things. You were so specific with what our disguises would be, Shaun. I can't help but wonder," she said, looking up at the man through her lashes. "Whether you wanted to see me like this," she said, running a hand down her body.

His eyes followed her hand's path down. "Well, this just fits for a clandestine meeting in a club. But I'd be lying if I said I was complaining."

Snapping her fingers, the woman directed the man's attention back to her. "Eyes up here, buddy. I tease, but you know what we came here for."

"Always about the business, aren't you, Shizuko?" the man said, eyes holding hers.

"Do you have the files?" she asked.

"I do. Do you have the money?"

Shizuko reached into her fur coat and withdrew a stack of bills. "I certainly do."

The man opened up his briefcase and Shizuko tensed. "Relax, princess. It's just for the files," he said.

He withdrew a manila folder and handed it over to Shizuko, who tucked it away in her fur coat. 

"Now, are you sure that all you want tonight are those files?"

Shaun moved into Shizuko's space, not breaking his eye contact with her for a second.

Shizuko felt the space between their bodies heat up. "Completely sure," she said, but her voice quavered the slightest bit. "Get back out there and out of my face."

Withdrawing, the man gave Shizuko a crooked smile. "As the lady wishes," he said, opening the bathroom door and vanishing back out into the pulsating crowd.

Shizuko took a long, shuddering breath.

A voice cut through the energy of the club. "Scene!"

* * *

Sana released the breath in a long stream of air. The club quieted down a fraction as she walked out of the bathroom to see Merrin. 

"That was great!" the woman said, fanning herself. "I could feel the tension from here. Now all we have left is the scene with Shizuko and Lena, if you're ready to shoot that."

Sana nodded silently. "Could I get a drink of water, first?"

"Actually, if you get into position at the bar again, they'll be able to get you one before we start shooting again." Merrin smiled. "The perks of shooting at a real club."

Thanking her, Sana made her way over to the bar, head spinning. 

She saw Dahyun still sitting where she had left her with their drinks.

"Dahyun," Sana hissed.

Her best friend turned and smiled at Sana, the closed-mouth one that she saved for Sana. "Hey, how'd it go?"

"It went well," Sana said. She sighed. "Almost too well."

"What?" Dahyun said, eyebrows drawing together. "But why would that be a bad thing?"

Sana thought back to the scene, remembering the jolt of nervousness that shot through her when Jax had come close.

Looking around at the others, "I think I'm really into Jax," she whispered, something churning deep in her chest. Sana hadn't been into a guy for a long, long time.

Dahyun slowly turned to face her. "Why do you say that?" she asked.

"It's just - that scene we did," Sana bit her lip and Dahyun's eyes flicked down. "It was intense."

There was a silence as Dahyun stared at her. Sana looked up, into Dahyun's dark eyes, and for the first time in years, couldn't read her at all.

"Dahyun?"

The younger girl blinked a few times, eyes clearing. "Sorry. Yeah, that's a shock."

Sana opened her mouth to ask if Dahyun was okay, but Merrin's piercing voice cut through her thoughts.

"All right! And we're ready to shoot again. You two ready?"

Sana and Dahyun started and turned to face her. "Yeah, we're ready," Sana said.

"Good. So then in three...two...one..."

Sana heard the sound of the clapperboard snapping, and knew the cameras were rolling.

She straightened her back to take on the persona of Shizuko and let out a sigh, letting her shoulders slump, as if she had just sat down. 

"God, we just spent so much money on those files," she said, propping her elbows up on the bar and resting her head in her hands. "The group better appreciate the work we had to do for these."

She felt a hand rub her back. "I'm sure they will," she heard Dahyun say, voice a little distant.

Hidden from the camera, Sana grimaced. She wasn't sure what was up with Dahyun, but that wasn't how they had run through the scene in practice.

Sana turned to look at Dahyun. "You know our contact for tonight? Shaun?"

"Yeah?"

"I think...I don't know." Sana thought about how they'd just had a derivation of this exact conversation, and a small smile came to her face. "I feel a connection with him. It's like we already know each other."

Dahyun looked at the bar counter. "Shizuko," she said haltingly. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I know," Sana said. "But I still feel like I want to see him again."

The scene was over then, and Sana waited for Merrin to call the scene. But then she saw Dahyun abruptly stand up.

The smaller girl stood up and grabbed her shot glass, downing it in one go. Then she took Sana's and downed it too.

Sana's jaw fell open on its own accord. Dahyun wiped her mouth and let out a breath.

She held out her hand to Sana. "Let's...dance," she said, voice a little unsteady.

Sana looked at Dahyun's hand and then into Dahyun's eyes, questioning. But Dahyun just looked back at her, steadily, and Sana decided to trust her. 

She took Dahyun's hand, and the other girl pulled her up to standing. "I'm going to make you forget him, Shizuko," she said, voice low.

Pulling Sana with her, she moved to the dance floor. Out of the corner of her eye, Sana saw the camera crew shifting to get a better angle.

It was a slow song. Sana didn't understand how this take could ever be kept, because why Lena would want to dance with Shizuko to a slow song to cheer her up? But for some reason, she went along with it.

Dahyun pulled them to the center of the dance floor and pulled Sana close. Sana's arms automatically slipped around Dahyun's neck, and Dahyun's hands found her hips.

They swayed to the beat of the music. Sana's mind worked furiously.

"What do you really want to say, Lena?" she ended up asking, voice husky.

There was a silence, and Dahyun's hands tightened around Sana's waist. "It's too dangerous," she said quietly.

She looked somewhere past Sana's shoulder. "He's basically a cop who hunts people like us," Dahyun said, tone rising. "He's dangerous, and not good for you! Just because he hasn't hurt you yet, doesn't mean...he won't." she said, voice finally breaking as she met Sana's gaze.

They were so close. Sana saw Dahyun's lip quivering in the way she had seen only a couple of times before. She cupped Dahyun's face without second thought, and felt Dahyun lean her head into her hand.

"I'm not going to leave you, Lena," Sana remembered to say. The crooning voice of the singer broke out into a stirring chorus, with belted high notes and rough, raw emotion in her voice.

And suddenly, Dahyun was jostled into Sana by a dancer behind her, and Sana found herself staring into Dahyun's eyes, a brown like hot chocolate after a dreary grey winter day.

Dahyun's lips were so close, Sana thought hazily. Her lips were the shade right in-between cherry red and soft pink. She bet they were soft - they were fuller than Sana had expected. They actually had a really nice shape.

Sana had just never noticed before.

"And cut!"

A voice rang out through the crowd, and Sana jolted her gaze away from Dahyun's lips. The assistant director shoved his way through. Beckoning to Sana and Dahyun, he directed them through the path he had cleared through the dancers.

Sana shook her head, broken out of her daze. She followed the assistant director, not sure what she and Dahyun had just created.

Merrin was waiting for them on the side, an unreadable expression on her face.

Sana gulped, realizing she had seen the whole exchange.

They came to stand before the woman and there was a period of silence, Merrin studying the two of them.

"I'm sorry," Dahyun blurted. "It all just came to me. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to improvise, but I had to try it while I was feeling it."

Merrin shook her head slowly. "Do you know what I hate most in an actor, Dahyun?"

Sana saw the other girl's eyes go bright as she shook her head.

"I hate actors who have no initiative. No creativity. No free will. Real people aren't like that, so how can you make the audience think the person you're playing is real if you aren't real yourself?"

Dahyun blinked, confusion in her eyes.

"What I mean to say, Dahyun," Merrin said, placing a hand on Dahyun's shoulder. "Is I'm not mad, and I'm glad that's the choice you decided to make."

Brows knitted together, Dahyun frowned. "You're not mad? Are we going to use that take?"

Merrin shrugged. "No to the former, and I have to think about the latter. I want you two to do the scene again until we get a good take of the original script."

Dahyun seemed to deflate a bit, shoulders sagging. 

_She's relieved._

"Okay!" Dahyun said. "I can do that."

Merrin turned to Sana. "That was some great improvising by you, too. I'm glad you chose to trust Dahyun." She chuckled. "I guess you two really are a package deal."

Sana grinned, feeling a weight lift from her chest, and nudged Dahyun. "Yeah, well, she's my best friend, so I kind of had to or else she would have ignored me for a week."

Dahyun huffed. "I would not have!"

"Let's get this take done and go home for the night, yeah?"

Sana and Dahyun nodded and walked back to take their positions at the bar again.

* * *

Any trace of oddness between Sana and Dahyun dissipated as they ran through the original scene a few more times. Sana eventually came to the conclusion that it had been a figment of her imagination.

For the rest of that week, Merrin shuttled Jax, Sana, Dahyun, and a few other cast members to a few different locations to film, since they needed the first episode out soon.

Jax had asked her why, and Merrin told them that she was going to take another risk by how they released the episodes. They would film an episode, then immediately release it when it was ready. Usually, shows filmed all the episodes of a season before releasing any, but Merrin wanted the show to feel more personal, to give the fans a chance to feel like they could affect what was in each episode.

It was nothing new to Sana and Dahyun, since they had starred on TWICE TV for most of their lives. Merrin's choice to cast them made more and more sense to Sana. The respect she had for the woman grew and grew.

By the end of Thursday, they had gotten all the footage they needed. So Friday, Sana was able to take a much-needed day off. She spent most of it in her pyjamas, reading one of her favorite romance novels. She thought of Jax in the place of the man in the novel.

In the early afternoon, Sana got a text from Merrin.

 **Merrin Power(ful):** you'll want to tune in to the XYZ channel tonight. mayyyy or may not be dropping the first episode ;).

Sana felt a bubble of excitement burst in her chest, buzzing all throughout her body.

She could barely wait until the other girls got home.

When she heard the front door unlock, Sana ran straight up to the first person who had walked in, Chaeyoung, and hugged her.

"Ah!" Chaeyoung staggered. "Sanaaa, you're heavy! What is it?"

"Our show is dropping tonight!"

Mina stopped in her tracks. "Tonight? So soon?"

Sana nodded. "The director is pretty unorthodox. She's hoping it will draw in more viewers." She eyed Mina. "But Mina, why aren't you at your dance class right now?"

"I don't know. I didn't feel up to it, I guess," the girl said, shrugging. Sana saw a tension in her shoulders that told a different story, but she decided to let it slide.

"Did I hear that your show is going to drop today?" Jihyo asked, eyes shining as she shut the door.

"Yes!" Sana squealed.

Jihyo enveloped her in a hug. "Oh, I'm so proud of you two! We have to start making preparations..."

"Preparations?" asked Tzuyu. 

"For our watch party!"

Jihyo put them to work, gathering pillows, blankets and making stove popcorn.

Sana walked past the window and saw flurries of snow coming down.

"Oh my god," she said. "Guys! It's the first snow!"

"What!" Chaeyoung said, running to the window. She gasped. "It's so thick this year!"

Just then, Sana heard a key in the door, and Momo, Jeongyeon, and Nayeon walked in.

"Hey guys! It's snowing!" Chaeyoung yelled across the room.

"We know," Momo said, lips twisting upward. "We were just experiencing it firsthand," she said as she and the other two shook the snow off of their coats and wiped their boots on the welcome mat.

Jeongyeon and Nayeon were suspiciously silent, Sana noticed.

"Guess what, you guys?" Jihyo asked from the kitchen.

"What is it?" Momo responded.

"The first episode of Sana and Dahyun's show comes out today!"

Jeongyeon startled. "Wow. That's so soon."

Nayeon started walking in the direction of her room. 

"Where are you going, Nayeon?" asked Tzuyu.

"Just to change and destress a bit," Nayeon said. "I'll be back to watch the episode, though!"

Jeongyeon's eyes followed her out. She sat down on the couch with a sigh, with Momo almost mirroring her actions.

Sana watched them for a while and had decided to ask them what was going on when she heard a voice by her side.

"Hey, I made some hot chocolate." She turned to see Jihyo holding out two steaming mugs to her.

"Go give one of these to that best friend of yours and bring her out to join us, yeah?"

Sana gave Jihyo a quick smile. "Okay!"

Treading the familiar path to Dahyun's room, Sana brought her face close to her mug and inhaled deeply. The smell of hot chocolate was ingrained in the recesses of Sana's brain, secured by the tendrils of deep childhood memory. Winter was Sana's favorite season. Almost every aspect of it reminded her of home. Not her current home, which she found in eight living bodies; a home that Sana could barely remember and was so impossibly blurred with emotion that she felt like it was all right if the fine details escaped her.

Sana arrived at Dahyun's door and knocked. "Dahyun!" she called, not waiting for a response. "I have hot chocolate."

The door opened almost immediately to reveal a rumpled Dahyun. The girl blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Why even knock if you just yell through the door anyway?"

Sana held out Dahyun's steaming mug, the one with the picture of a rabbit munching on a carrot. "Are you going to watch the episode with us?"

Dahyun took the mug and looked down into the swirling steam. "I don't know. I think so."

"Why? What's wrong?" Sana asked, words spilling out immediately, concern gnawing at her stomach. 

"I don't know if I'm ready," Dahyun admitted. "You know it's hard for me."

Sana did know. The other girl would refuse to watch videos of her performances whenever she could.

"Well, think of it this way," Sana said, staring at Dahyun and willing her to raise her gaze to meet her own. "We're about to all gather to watch the premiere of a mysterious new show, with a lead actress that you're absolutely captivated by." A smile grew on Sana's face when Dahyun finally met her eyes. "You'll be watching it with your best friend - who you're also totally captivated by - and seven of your best friends, who would do nothing but support you no matter what you do."

Sana watched Dahyun's lips stretch into a closed-mouth smile, pursing with the effort not to laugh.

"What do you think?" Sana asked. "What would you hypothetically say?"

Dahyun shook her head fondly. "I'd tell my best friend that she needs to deflate her ego by a lot, but I would say yes."

Sana beamed. She took Dahyun's free hand and lead her down the hall.

"I'm nervous about it too," Sana said, dropping her act. "But I know that with you and the other girls, it'll all turn out okay."

"There you go again, telling me it's going to be okay," Dahyun said. "Maybe this time it will be."

Sana remembered that nerve-wracking day on the Thrill Walk, the look in Dahyun's eyes and the sound of her scream. Sana shuddered.

They entered the living room to see the rest of the girls sitting - but not in their usual positions. Momo and Jeongyeon were still on the floor in their usual places, but Mina, instead of sitting on the loveseat next to Jihyo with Momo at her feet, was sitting at the end of the couch. Nayeon was on the couch as well, next to Mina, with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. Jihyo had pulled up a cushioned rocking chair and looked an awful lot like a grandma, watching the others talk in low tones with a far-away expression on her face.

"Hey," Dahyun said. Seven heads turned to look at her.

"She finally emerges," said Tzuyu. "I wonder what Sana had to do to convince her?" the youngest of them all mused.

"She asked nicely," Dahyun retorted. "Maybe you should try it?"

Chaeyoung vocalized a muted  _ooooohh_ , and Tzuyu wrinkled her nose at Dahyun. 

There was a noticeable space where someone else would usually throw in a quip, but no one did. After she and Dahyun sat down on the loveseat, Sana looked at the group to see a good half of them avoiding each others' gazes.

"All right, team." Jihyo said, suddenly bringing her hands together with a clap. "We have the popcorn, we have the blankets and pillows, and now we have the stars of the show," she said, giving Sana and Dahyun a smile, but Sana saw worry at the corners of her eyes. "I think it's time."

The girls in the room collectively seemed to gather themselves. "Yeah," Momo said, voice softer than usual but a smile still coming to her lips. "You guys have been working for so many hours that we've barely seen you."

It was true. Merrin had the team working almost all day and most of the night to get the shots they needed.

"It only means you two deserve this even more," Chaeyoung said. "I'm really looking forward to seeing your performances."

A spot of warmth flickered in Sana's chest. "Thank you."

With a press of Jihyo's finger, the TV came to life, already on XYZ's channel. It seemed like they were just in time, because Sana saw Merrin's logo flash on the screen, then fade to black.

It opened with a mysterious scene where Jax was working on a nefarious case at his superhero regulation agency. Since Sana already knew the plot of the episode, she was able to see the bigger picture and appreciate how the way Merrin shot the scene foreshadowed future events and how certain phrases would recur later.

Jeongyeon whistled. "I've got to say, that's a pretty attractive guy." She turned to Sana. "You're totally gonna bang him, right? On the show or in real life. Probably both, actually - I bet you have crazy chemistry."

Jihyo shushed her as Sana turned beet red. She felt a complex swirl of emotions at Jeongyeon's words, but didn't want to unpack them at the moment.

It was interesting to see how the episode played out: what order Merrin arranged the scenes in, what music she chose, and what takes she actually used. It had felt like a dream when Sana shot her scenes, but now, watching her, Dahyun, Jax, and the other cast members on the scene completely embodying their characters, it couldn't feel more real.

Sana had known Dahyun was a good actor, but the way she played Lena blew her out of the water. Lena was shy by day but fierce at night, when she donned her superhero disguise. Dahyun would somehow make the transition seem natural every time.

When the episode reached the scene at the club and Sana and Dahyun walked in, the group, who had been silent the entire time with the exception of Jeongyeon's outburst, erupted into wolf-whistles and cheers. Sana let out an embarrassed laugh as she watched herself saunter through the club, sensually lit by the club's lighting and Merrin's superb editing. Dahyun didn't look too shabby herself - her character's shy demeanor coupled with her silent confidence drew the viewer's eye.

It drew Sana's, at least.

The scene with her and Jax played out and Sana's mouth went dry. She could feel Jeongyeon itching to make a comment, so she glared at the other girl and let out a small sigh of relief, much like her character, when the scene with Jax ended.

Then the scene cut to her last scene with Dahyun, sitting at the bar's countertop. Sana watched her character vent about the deal with Jax with Dahyun's character.

Her heart dropped when she heard Dahyun's character respond, voice distant.

"No," Sana muttered. "They didn't."

Almost scared, she turned to look at Dahyun. The girl's eyes widened, comprehending.

Turning her attention back to the screen, Sana saw Dahyun's character speaking, then downing the two shot glasses. It surprised Sana how well it fit with the scene.

Sana's character followed Dahyun's out, in a daze. The camera tracked them into the crowd, then cut to a closer shot of them reaching the middle.

Sana and Dahyun's characters stumbled to a stop, Lena a bit unsteady on her feet. They stood there for a moment, eyes drinking each other in, and simultaneously they stepped closer. Lena wrapped her arms around Shizuko's waist, and Shizuko's arms found Lena's neck. To a slow song, they danced, and the camera picked up the soft lights dancing across their faces.

They exchanged the words that Sana and Dahyun had improvised, and a current of emotion seemed to flow through them, heightening with every phrase. Then, Dahyun's character broke, and Sana's character held her. The song swelled into its chorus at that moment, with Sana and Dahyun staring deep into each other's eyes.

Then, the random dancer bumped into Dahyun, and their faces became impossibly close. Everything else went blurry as the shot focused only on their faces.

On Sana and Dahyun's faces. On their lips, almost touching, and on Sana, captivated by Dahyun's mouth.

On Dahyun, who was staring at Sana's lips.

The song swelled to a climax, then ended. And the episode faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena is totally an Overwatch reference. And also because Lena Waithe is maybe one of the coolest people on earth right now.
> 
> g o d this chapter was a _monster_. not only is it almost twice the length of the previous chapter, but I got soo distracted writing this because I had TWICE's cover of I Want You Back playing in another window and I kept clicking over to watch the music video and then Hyolyn's new single dropped. and oh my god?? how have we even had summer without her. i don't know. i'm just glad we won't have to anymore.
> 
> it's gotten hard to wrangle all these characters, but it'll be easier after this. these are just about the only characters i'll be adding to our cast - at least for a while. i promise there will be more of the rest or TWICE next chaper! by the way, the inspo for dahyun's character's look is [this](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c2/cb/04/c2cb0455568b5e192ac7b8e45639ca90.jpg), and the song that's playing while they're gay slow dancing is tinashe's flame.
> 
> the idea to have this tv show be a superhero show only just occurred to me. i never, in a million years, would have thought I'd be writing a TWICE acting / fake dating / superhero au but well, here we are! drop a comment if you're digging it! you guys make me so happy!


	5. rolling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so first: minor homophobia TW! just in the reactions of some people to the episode.
> 
> I’m so happy to be able to write this again!! for the past month I was a part of a really intense program abroad and I had virtually no spare time to do anything besides sleep :(. but it was so, so amazing, and I feel invigorated to continue this story just like before <3.
> 
> thank you for all your super thoughtful and intentional comments in the meantime! Hope you guys enjoy this one, it’s fairly long, and unedited in some parts, but I didn’t want to lose my momentum or keep you guys waiting more than I had to.

There was no naming the atmosphere in the room.

Sana could feel her heart pounding in her ears as the credits rolled.  The shock of seeing the last scene had rippled through her: quiet as a drop in a pond, but as significant as an earthquake.

She didn't dare look at Dahyun next to her.

Sana knew about shows. She knew about production. She knew how to set the mood of a scene with lighting, music and angles, knew how to play characters in a way that heightened that mood.

She didn't need to know any of that to see that the framing of that last scene was plainly, surely, and undoubtedly romantic.

"Shit," Jeongyeon said, after a period of stunned silence. Most of the members were still staring at the screen or exchanging looks. "Look at this."

She was holding up her phone. Notifications were pouring in, her phone endlessly buzzing like some shiny, black, demented insect.

A few texts, a slew of Twitter notifications.

Tzuyu pulled out her phone and unlocked it. Out of all of them, she was the most in-tune with their fans.

Sana's heart dropped when she saw the color noticeably draw from Tzuyu's face. "Twitter is going wild."

She flipped her phone around to reveal a stream of Twitter posts. "This is from the tag the fans were liveblogging their reactions in. It's currently #1 on trending."

Sana held out her hand and Tzuyu wordlessly gave her the phone. 

Scrolling down the feed, Sana could see the change in people's reactions. They had reacted relatively positively throughout the episode, with a few dedicated fans of Sana, Dahyun, and Jax interjecting with caps-lock-ridden excitement. There was a wave of excited exclamations when the viewers realized the characters were undercover superheroes. Then after the scene with Jax, when Shizuko returned to Lena, right before Dahyun's improvised scene, a few had made some sly quips.

"omg, lena is totally jealous. new gfs to ship, anyone? how about that #shizena?" Sana read off. "There's already a name for it," she said blankly.

Momo craned her head to look. "Look, you can see exactly when Lena pulled Shizuko to the dance floor."

Sana could, right before the Tweets filled with extensive keysmashes and exclamations. 

"And you can see right when you guys almost kissed." Jeongyeon said.

Her voice came from far off, like Sana's head was stuck underwater.

So many people were talking about her. About her, Sana Minatozaki. She was used to fans, but her name had never been in so many people's mouths.

And not all of it was pretty, either.

 **proudsoccermom5:** _just plain_ _disgusted. can't believe xyz is pandering to the lgbts now. not family friendly. don't want to see these d**** on my tv_

Sana's heart ached for the LGBT people who must be seeing those same comments.

Just then, a piercing tone came from Sana and Dahyun's phones. Sana winced, and most the girls covered their ears with widespread groaning.

She pulled out her phone, and Dahyun did the same. Their screens were identical.

On a completely black screen, a white pop-up message glared at them.

**TWICE ACTING AGENCY**

The mobile devices of SANA MINATOZAKI and DAHYUN KIM have been temporarily disabled. You are not allowed to check you texts, interact on social media, or respond to any media stations that reach out to you. Please contact support if this is not the device of SANA MINATOZAKI or DAHYUN KIM. **PRIVATE**   **MESSAGE FROM JYP** : _check your email_.

All Sana could do is let it sink in. She slowly set her phone on the arm of the loveseat, not seeing any point in trying to unlock her phone anyway, as Dahyun was doing next to her. 

Right when she had acclimated to leaving TWICE TV, right when she thought change might not be so bad, something like this happens. Sana wanted to laugh. It seemed as if the universe would try to prove her wrong every time she tried to put a positive spin on things. She'd thought that leaving TWICE TV would be just one change, but there were so many unknowns at that moment. Something was quiet and broken in Momo and Mina's friendship, and Jeongyeon and Nayeon seemed to be giving each other the cold shoulder. Jihyo was worried and distant. And Sana and Dahyun's characters were possibly gay and together, embroiling them in a huge firestorm of controversy that might threaten their future careers. Sana couldn't recall if she had ever seen a gay couple on a popular television show, and she never in her wildest dreams would have expected she might play the first.

"Uh," Mina said. "It looks like the Times just released an interview with Merrin. Should I read some of it?"

"Yes.” Dahyun finally spoke.

There was a silence as Mina scanned the article. "In the first bit it's she's talking about her vision and why she's choosing to released every episode right after it's filmed. It's interesting, and she's really selling it."

Sana expected as much. 

"Oh - the interviewer must have been shown the episode." Mina's eyebrows drew together. "Merrin was just asked about LGBT representation, and what her inspiration for that last scene was."

"What did she say?" Sana asked because as her shock wore off, she felt curiosity pushing insistently at the corners of her mind.

"She's talking about how she just wants people to feel safe, but the nature of Shizuko and Lena's relationship is ambiguous for now." 

It was interesting to Sana that she didn't make a stronger statement on Shizuko and Lena's relationship, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel relieved.

"And - oh."

"Is something wrong?" Momo asked, hesitancy nudging her words forward.

Mina was silent. Sana felt the air of the room thicken, with every girl training their eyes on Mina.

"Mina," Jeongyeon said. "What is it?"

Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, Mina looked up, eyes finding Dahyun. "She told them that scene was completely improvised."

The group directed their attention to Dahyun. The girl's expression was neutral. "Did she say anything else?"

"About that?" Mina shook her head. "No."

An expectant stretch of silence filled the room. Sana gazed at Dahyun, and saw no discernible emotion in her soft brown eyes or smooth, sculpted brow. 

"Did she lie?" Chaeyoung asked. "Because if she did, I swear to god -"

"No," Dahyun interrupted. Her gaze was resolute. "It was improvised. A mistake that felt right at the moment. I had no idea they would use that take or frame it like that." She stood abruptly. "I'm going to go check my email to see how JYP is going to handle this." Dahyun turned to Sana. "Will you come? I'm guessing we'll have to go talk to him together."

So many half-formed thoughts and reactions were ricocheting off the walls of Sana's mind.

She settled for a simple "Yeah. I'll come."

* * *

Dahyun was right. JYP's email essentially only told them to not talk to anyone besides their TWICE group members and to come to his office first thing the next morning.

Sana lay awake in bed that night, mind endlessly jumping from one thought to the next.

Morning came after an eternity. Restless, Sana woke Dahyun up early and they headed over to TWICE's headquarters.

It was a deceptively calm morning. Saturday at 8 a.m. - very few people out and about. Sana was relieved; she was terrified of being recognized after that last night.

Likewise, TWICE headquarters was silent and still when they entered. It felt like the whole building was holding its breath.

They arrived in front of JYP's door and were about to enter when Sana heard the sound of a door opening behind them.

She turned, and it was JYP, poking his head out of the doorway. He beckoned them over and Sana and Dahyun walked through the dark hardwood door into a sterile conference room.

Harsh fluorescent lights illuminated the features of Merrin Powers and TWICE's PR team. JYP walked to the end of the polished wood conference table to sit at the head, and indicated for Sana and Dahyun to sit at the other end.

They did so, lowering themselves into two padded, high-backed office chairs.

"So," JYP began, folding his hands, tone more serious than Sana had ever heard. "I'm sure you know why you're here."

Sana and Dahyun mutely nodded.

JYP pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long breath. "The way today is going to go is we're going to show you some data about the situation, then Merrin will pitch an idea to the two of you. Does that sound okay?"

Again, Sana and Dahyun nodded silently.

Merrin pressed a button on a clicker and a chart popped up onscreen. "Essentially, our ratings are way up," she said, pointing to a statistic. "The ratings for pilot episodes are usually better than regular episodes, but we broke the record of the highest rating for a pilot this year."

Sana startled.

"Yes, it's even better than we hoped," Merrin said, eyes shining. She clicked and another slide came up, this one displaying a graph.

"This is a graph that my team and Merrin's PR team created, tracking the mentions of the show on micro-blogging sites, including Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr," JYP said. "It steadily increases at a better-than-average rate for the first thirty-seven minutes. But, as you can see," JYP continued, pointing to a sharp spike in the graph. "It drastically increases around minute thirty-seven, when the last scene of the episode began. The rate almost quintupled, and the mentions of your show that occurred after minute thirty-seven make up about 73% of all the mentions."

Sana saw Dahyun's jaw slack.

"Wow," Sana said, mind blank.

A bar graph popped up on the screen. 

"This," JYP said. "Is a graph of the results of a poll we had an analytics company conduct, in order to find out what the public thought of a possible relationship between Shizuko and Lena. As you can see, the majority of people are concentrated in the two extreme options: 'I wholeheartedly support this relationship' and 'I unquestionably reject this relationship'. Though, surprisingly, there are more positive reactions than negative ones, with about 61% of people reporting some positive feelings toward the relationship, 7% reporting neutrality, and 32% reporting negative feelings. However, almost all of the negative reactions are concentrated in the negative extreme opinion."

"So basically," Dahyun mused. "Over half of the population supports us, but about a third hate our guts."

"That's...one way to put it," JYP sighed. "I'm not going to lie. I don't quite know why you agreed to do this."

Sana and Dahyun exchanged a look. "We..." Sana hesitated. "didn't."

JYP blinked. "What?"

Sana looked at Merrin and couldn't fathom what she was thinking, but felt hot guilt rising up her body. "We didn't know it was going to happen."

JYP turned to Merrin. "Is this true?"

Gaze steady, Merrin shrugged. "It was a last-minute creative choice that I thought would add to the artistry of the show."

"So," said JYP, voice dangerously even. "At the very last minute, you decided to make the 'creative choice' of throwing Sana and Dahyun's characters into what could be the first same-sex relationship on a major television network, for the artistry? With no warning or input from them."

Merrin sighed and folded her hands, sitting back. "Look. To be frank, it's only been good for the show. It's elevated what's just a better-than-average superhero drama to a better-than-average superhero drama with a political message.”

”Regardless, they deserved to have a say!” Sana was surprised to hear JYP’s voice rising. “This could seriously damage their careers, and people are already invading their personal lives!”

“Wait,” Dahyun interjected. “Invading our personal lives?”

There was a silence. Merrin and JYP glanced at each other. A few of the PR team members shifted, fabric of their suits crinkling. Sana looked at Dahyun, who stared back, worried confusion written clearly across her face.

A pit in Sana's gut opened up. She had experienced the dark side of the Internet, but was not sure that Dahyun had.

"Ricardo," JYP inclined his head to a stoic-looking man on the PR team. "Show them."

The man took out a glossy black iPad and tapped for a few seconds, fingers flying across the screen. Then he slid the tablet across the table to rest in front of Sana and Dahyun.

Both girls craned their heads in to look at the display. 

An array of pictures littered the screen, and every single one included both Sana and Dahyun. Many were screenshots of their interactions on TWICE TV, though a few paparazzi shots were scattered throughout. Sana saw the screenshot of Dahyun standing between her and Jeongyeon during the sleepover episode, and smiled despite herself.

But the niggling feeling that something wasn't completely right wouldn't leave Sana alone.

In her peripheral vision, Sana saw JYP and Merrin glancing at each other.

Ricardo took the iPad back and swiped right, then passed it back to the girls. 

It was open on an article from  _Entertainment V,_ the most popular celebrity news site - the place everyone went for the latest gossip.

“Read that if you’re still confused,” Ricardo said.

Sana bit down lightly on the inside of her cheek and did as Ricardo said. 

The title of the article was “Sapphic Scandal? ‘Smoke and Shadows’ Brings Stars’ Personal Lives Into the Light”. To Sana, the title seemed as if it was written in another language. Confusion churned deep within her, driving her to move her eyes further down the page.

The first part of the article didn’t tell Sana anything she didn’t know already. It gave a quick run-down of the premise of “Smoke and Shadows” and a summary of the pilot. 

But then the focus of the article shifted.

_The last few minutes of the pilot came as a shock to many viewers as Shizuko and Lena, the characters played by Sana Minatozaki and Dahyun Kim, shared an intimate moment that many viewers saw as undeniably romantic. Take a look at the clip below:_

_[video file]_

_Is it hot in here, or is it just us? There is almost no denying the magnetic attraction between these two characters, regardless of your political views. The chemistry is off the charts! These two actresses really earned their money’s worth with this bit of acting. Or that’s what you might think before reading the interview with Merrin Powers, the director of “Smoke and Shadows”._

A pit of dread opened up in Sana’s stomach.

_In this interview, Powers divulges that the scene was not in the original script - it was completely improvised by Dahyun Kim, the actress playing Lena._

_Sana Minatozaki and Dahyun Kim were co-stars for a few years on TWICE TV before their recent casting in “Smoke and Shadows”. Prior to that, they were Twice Talent Agency trainees for almost a decade in the same group. Their group skyrocketed to the top of Twice Agency’s charts after a couple short years of being in the public’s eye, and the group soon secured the prime spot on TWICE TV. The group was known for their closeness, but the friendship of Minatozaki and Kim always stood out. Their relationship was one of the main fixtures of the show - the two were almost always paired together and was the duo that had the most airtime out of all the other duos on the show. Their closeness gave rise to a small but passionate group of fans who believed they should be together romantically, referring to the two by the portmanteau “Saida”._

Sana had heard mentions of “Saida” from time to time, but had never known what it meant. Somewhere deep inside her, a part of Sana wanted to learn more about that group of the fanbase, but the rest of her was growing apprehension over what the rest of the article had in store. 

 _When the last TWICE TV episode featuring Minatozaki and Kim was released, this fanbase went into an uproar. That episode, the group ventured to the “Thrill Walk” - an awe-inspiring obstacle course on the side of a mountain._ _Though the course is very safe, Minatozaki tripped and fell into the safety net below one of the obstacles, sparking a heart-wrenching reaction in Kim, who shockingly jumped over the safety railing in an attempt to stop Minatozaki’s fall, as shown in this clip._

_[video file]_

Many parts of Sana protested when she saw the thumbnail of the video - a clip of the Thrill Walk episode. That moment was private. Even though she knew full well it was posted on public TV for anyone to see, seeing a news site using it for half-baked evidence of an affair between her and Dahyun felt invasive and gross. She knew it was very significant for Dahyun, for reasons she still did not know, and seeing  _Entertainment V_ analyze it made her seethe.

_Kim’s worry and her meaningful exchange with Minatozaki gave many “Saida” fans hope that there was some hope for a relationship between Minatozaki and Kim. Even the regular fans of the show took note of the moment, with a few theorizing that Kim was secretly in love with Minatozaki._

Sana’s blood boiled. These people were dragging Dahyun’s reputation through the mud for absolutely no reason. 

_With the release of the pilot of “Smoke and Shadows”, it seems they may have been right. Enough is left ambiguous at the moment for this to all be speculation, but who knows what tomorrow will hold? The only thing we know for now is that the darlings of TWICE TV are making some major waves right now, for better or worse. But you know what they say: no publicity is bad publicity!_

A torrent of white-hot anger rushed through Sana and she gripped the arms of her chair, knuckles white. 

“I can’t fucking believe this,” she said, voice low, and every head in the room turned to look at her. 

Sana knew she should compose herself, but she didn’t care. 

“How could they say this shit about Dahyun? Why haven’t we pressured them to take this down yet? Why the fuck are you all sitting here in this meeting instead of fixing this?” Her voice had risen into a yell, and Sana rose to her feet.

“Her career could be ruined, all because of a stupid ‘creative choice’ that you made!” Sana shouted, pointing at Merrin. “What the fuck do you have to say for yourself?”

Merrin’s cool brown eyes met hers. “I’m going to say this one time, and one time only,” her voice soft in a way that reminded Sana how it felt to be outside right before a thunderstorm. “Sit down, and stop yelling.”

For a moment, Sana’s emotions almost brought her over the edge. She had felt a blockage steadily building up ever since she saw the episode and desperately wanted to release it all then. Sana didn’t know what she was about to do - all she knew was that she was unspeakably angry at the woman sitting in front of her and all the structures that made an event as small as this scandal into an unstoppable chain of events that could ruin her and Dahyun’s careers.

But then she looked at Dahyun and saw fear in her eyes, and her mind caught up with her emotions.

A wave of icy regret crashed down upon her. Sana covered her mouth, realizing she had just cursed at her boss in an official meeting. 

Legs unsteady, Sana lowered herself into her chair. “I am very sorry,” she said, feeling like hot shame had replaced the blood running through her veins. “That won’t happen again.”

“I hope not,” Merrin eyed her, but broke into a small smile. “It’s good to see you have some bite, though.”

Sana nodded wordlessly. 

“Well,” Merrin sighed. “Before I was going to say anything, I wanted to ask you two how you feel about all this. So now that we’ve all heard Sana’s piece, can I ask Dahyun to tell us how she feels about the situation?”

 _Right._ Sana had barely looked at Dahyun to gauge how she felt. She glanced at Dahyun then and saw that the other girl’s face was blank, eyes far away.

“Dahyun?” Sana asked, after a short silence.

The other girl slowly nodded. “Yeah,” she said, voice distant. “It’s pretty funny.”

Sana saw Merrin’s brows crease. 

“This is the only stuff they’ve managed to pull up against me, after years in the entertainment industry,” she turned towards Sana. “That I’m secretly in love with my best friend? Please,” she said, breaking into a grin. “It’s such a cliché. They must have nothing to write about. And honestly, who isn’t in love with you? I feel like these people are just projecting.”

Sana’s heart warmed. Dahyun’s shoulders were drawn back and her head was held high, and Sana instantly felt less heavy.

“I’m very relieved to hear you’re taking it well,” Merrin said. “But like Sana said, this is something that has to be handled. So now that you both are settled, we have a few options.”

Sana exchanged a look with Dahyun. The other girl’s body language was confident, but her eyes were wide. Sana realized all at once that Dahyun had been putting up a front, so she reached her hand underneath the desk to entangle her fingers with Dahyun’s.

Dahyun’s shoulders slackened a bit, and she turned to Merrin. “What are our options?”

Merrin inclined her head. “We could go with what Sana so forcefully suggested, and bury the story and move past the whole thing. We have reason to believe that the public would let this go if we move on with business as usual. It’s a tempting option, even for me.”

It sounded like the perfect option to Sana, but with the memory of her earlier outburst still fresh in her mind, she waited to hear the rest of what Merrin had to say.

“The second option is that we apologize for the scene and replace that take with one of the takes from the original script, then move on like nothing happened. That feels morally wrong to me, but it would get you two out of the center of the controversy and save our show from alienating a third of our fanbase.”

That option did feel wrong to Sana, but she would do it if it was what Dahyun wanted.

“Our third option is to completely go through with it. We could make Lena and Shizuko each others’ main love interests and set up a love triangle with Shaun. This would incite even more controversy, but the publicity would bring more viewers. However, this option would completely alienate the third of our viewers who strongly opposed a Shizena relationship.”

Sana didn’t like the idea of that. She could only imagine what that would do to the show, much less her and Dahyun’s careers.

“Which brings us to our fourth option. I believe this might be the best of the four. I think it will yield the best results, but it comes at the cost of putting a lot of this burden on your shoulders.”

“We’re all ears,” Dahyun said.

“The fourth option will avoid alienating any portion of our audience, while giving our show a lot of publicity and bringing new viewers in. It’s not morally objectionable, and the PR team’s calculations show that it will yield the best results out of any of the options.”

“That sounds great already,” Dahyun said, sitting up a bit straighter. “What do we have to do?”

Sana felt a bit of hope blossom in her chest. The situation could be salvageable.

“We would need you two to pretend to be in a romantic relationship.”

Sana blinked, all activity in her brain coming to a screeching halt. 

“What?” 

“Let me explain,” Merrin said, spreading her hands on the table. “We’ve been endorsed by many pro-LGBT organizations, the majority of our fanbase supports a possible same-sex relationship, and a good portion of those fans would also back a relationship between the two of you, judging by the support for  _Entertainment V_ ’s article. If you two dated, we would keep that support, and we wouldn’t be ‘shoving a gay relationship in viewers’ faces’, as we would if we went through with Shizena - which would keep many of our more conservative viewers around. The publicity around you two being some of the only out LGBT celebrities - as well as one of the only LGBT celebrity couples - would bring new viewers to the show, and would possibly expand our audience overseas. It’s almost a win-win,” Merrin said. “Except for that it puts a lot of pressure on you two.”

Sana’s head spun. “It definitely would,” she said.

“We’re giving you a bit of time to talk about it,” JYP said, watching the two of them closely, brows knit together. “Ricardo will lead you to the break room across the hall, where you’ll be able to talk in private.”

“You’re not going to let us sleep on it?” Dahyun asked.

“Unfortunately, we don’t think that would be best. The issue is time-sensitive, and depending what option you pick, letting more than twenty-four hours pass without handling it could be very dangerous.”

That made sense to Sana. “Okay,” she said. “That makes sense.”

Merrin nodded to Ricardo, and the man stood up and indicated for Sana and Dahyun to follow him. They got to their feet and followed him across the black, carpeted hallway into the break room.

“We’ll get you in fifteen minutes, or you can come out when you’re ready,” he said. Then he shut the door behind them with a final  _click._

A silence settled between them, standing in the middle of the break room. Sana took in how Dahyun still stood tall even after she was away from the prying eyes of Merrin, JYP, and the PR team. She also took in how her best friend’s body shook with the slightest trembling.

Sana forgot the mess of roiling feelings in her gut as a tender protectiveness surged in her chest. Stepping into Dahyun’s space, Sana wrapped an arm around Dahyun’s waist and brought Dahyun’s head to rest on her shoulder, bringing her close. 

“It’s going to be okay, Dahyunnie,” she murmured. “I’ve got you.”

The other girl melted into her. Sana felt Dahyun bring her arms up to cling to her back. Her best friend’s body heaved and Sana felt hot moisture begin to roll down the crook of her neck, as Dahyun buried her head there. 

Sana’s heart almost broke in two. Dahyun was a silent crier and Sana almost wished she would sob as well; feeling her best friend cry was a fate far, far worse than crying herself.

They stayed there for a while. The right shoulder of Sana's blouse was almost completely soaked through when Dahyun lifted her head and stepped back from Sana.

"Thank you," the other girl said, scrubbing at her eyes. "Everything is just a little much right now."

She plopped down on the black leather couch and Sana followed suit.

"So," Sana began as Dahyun let out a steady stream of air. As much as she wanted to comfort Dahyun even more, she knew they didn’t have much time to decide. "We have four options to chose from." She fixed her gaze on her best friend. "I want to let you know that no matter which you chose, since this is ultimately your decision, I'll be with you every step of the way."

The edges of Dahyun's eyes softened as she gazed back at Sana. "That means a lot."

“I mean,” Sana said, a grin playing at the corners of her lips. “I basically have to say that during every crisis you have. It’s practically in the best friend contract.”

Dahyun opened her mouth, as if she was about to say something, but she seemed to rethink and her features grew into a wide grin instead. “That’s fair.”

“Want to go over the options again?” Sana asked, feeling lighter.

Dahyun nodded. 

“Our first is to bury the story and move on as usual. That one honestly sounded like the best to me, and the least stressful for us.”

To Sana’s surprise, Dahyun shook her head immediately. “That one is probably one of the worst. The piece has already been out for enough time for it to circulate widely, and everyone would see it as us taking the cowards’ way out. I think that both sides of the fanbase would be very dissatisfied - I don’t believe they would just let this go. It’s too big.”

Now that Sana thought about it, Dahyun was totally right. She had been attracted to the option because it required the least work. 

Sana eyed her best friend. Dahyun’s sharp mind surprised her, sometimes.

“Okay, then let’s nix that option. Our second is to apologize and cut the scene out, then continue on as normal.”

Dahyun frowned. “It feels wrong to me.”

“I feel the same way,” Sana said. “Want to just move on from that one?”

Her best friend nodded.

“The third choice is to go through with the relationship on the show.”

“I’m not sure about that one,” Dahyun said. “I think if we’re going to go through with something to get more publicity for the show, the fourth option would get us better results.”

 _Yeah_. The fourth option. 

“I can’t believe they suggested that,” Sana said. 

Dahyun let out a little laugh. “Me neither. But it makes the most sense out of all the options.”

The room became quiet, and the air felt thick with the weight of expectation.

“To be really honest, I’m scared,” Dahyun said, gaze fixed across the room. “For so many reasons.”

Sana placed her hand on top of Dahyun’s. “You don’t need to explain.”

There were so many things that could go wrong. They would likely have to work hard to convince the public they were a couple, while dealing with the backlash from conservatives and the strain it could put on their personal relationship. On top of all that, they would continue working on the show as usual. 

But as Sana thought about it more and more, it seemed like the only right choice. She just hoped Dahyun realized it too.

“I meant what I said before,” Sana said. “About supporting whatever option you pick.”

“I know,” said Dahyun. “I never doubted it. I just don’t want to put you through so much.”

Though she loved her best friend to pieces, frustration bubbled up within Sana. 

“Dahyun,” Sana said, barely keeping her tone even. “Let me do this for you. Please. You’re taking the brunt of everything right now. This is the best option, and you might not take it just to spare me a bit of work?” She shook her head, but her frustration had already dissipated.

“Please,” Sana said, taking Dahyun’s hands in her own. Looking up at Dahyun through her lashes, she pleaded with her eyes. “Let me help you.”

Dahyun stared at her for a moment, brown eyes unreadable. After what felt like an eternity, she bobbed her head in the slightest nod.

* * *

When the two re-entered the room and gave Merrin their decision, the director only nodded, as if she already expected that answer. JYP’s eyes held a quiet worry that Sana had never seen before, but he accepted the decision. After telling them that he would support them as much as he could, he left the conference for another meeting. 

Sana and Dahyun were left with Merrin and the PR team. Ricardo briefed them on what they would have to do - frequent appearances together, scheduled dates, and social media posts. Then they talked for a few more hours, debating back and forth, until they set up four main ground rules:

1) No talking about the true nature of their relationship with anyone besides the staff of TWICE, their TWICE group, Merrin’s PR team, and Merrin herself.

2) The maximum number of dates that the PR team could request from them was two per week.

3) Paparazzi could only photograph them if they were at least two miles from their home, with the exception of specially scheduled appointments.

4) The PR team was not allowed to request for them to kiss.

Sana came out of the meeting feeling much more adjusted to the idea of fake-dating Dahyun. It wouldn’t be that different from what they usually did, really. 

She was worried about was telling her mother, though. The PR team made it clear that they shouldn’t tell their families the truth unless it was absolutely necessary; it was too much of a risk otherwise. Sana had never thought about dating girls before - she was open-minded, but the thought had never crossed her mind. She found girls attractive, sometimes, but that was fairly normal. 

So she had never paid attention to her mother’s stance on gay relationships. It had never come up.

 _I’ll call her right before we make the announcement_ , Sana thought.

First, she and Dahyun had to tell their group that they were about to start dating.

Sana checked her phone. The LED display told her that it was 1:08pm. All the members were bound to be up, except for maybe Tzuyu. 

She and Dahyun had arrived on the porch of their TWICE home. They exchanged a look, and Dahyun stepped forward and rapped her knuckles on the front door.

A few seconds passed in silence, then the door swung open to reveal Chaeyoung.

”Sana! Dahyun!” she exclaimed. “You’re back!”

A rush of fondness for their second-youngest member rushed over Sana, and she forgot her weariness. “Did you think we wouldn’t come back?”

Chaeyoung shook her head rapidly. “No, but we weren’t expecting you back for a while.” She turned back into the house. “Tzuyu!” she hollered down the hallway. “Wake up! They’re back!”

Dahyun cackled.

“We guessed she would still be asleep,” Sana said.

Rolling her eyes, Chaeyoung opened the door fully. “Of course you knew. She basically sleeps the entire weekend.”

Sana and Dahyun entered the house to see most of the group already gathered in the living room. None of them were sitting in their usual places, but they all looked up at Sana and Dahyun expectantly when they arrived.

Although things seemed to be pretty rocky in some parts of the group, Sana’s heart warmed to see them all coming together to support her and Dahyun regardless. 

“So?” asked Jihyo. “What’s the news?”

Sana and Dahyun glanced at each other. Dahyun’s gaze was sure, with no trace of her earlier anxiety. 

“This is going to take a little while to explain.”

* * *

“After that, they gave us four choices. We picked the fourth option, because it was what they suggested and the only solution that could possibly yield a positive outcome.”

Sana took a sip of her water that Jeongyeon had brought her, mouth dry.

”What did you chose to do?” asked Mina, who had been silent the entire time.

“We’re dating,” blurted Dahyun. 

If Sana was to imagine the tiniest, thinnest, and most minuscule pin dropping in that moment, she was pretty sure she would be able to hear it, clear as day.

She mentally rolled her eyes. Dahyun loved getting dramatic reactions from people.

”What Dahyun meant to say,” Sana glared at Dahyun, but her words had no bite to them. “Is that we have to pretend we’re dating for the show, so that we don’t have our characters date on the show and we don’t alienate a third of our audience.”

Mina frowned. “That seems really drastic. Why doesn’t Merrin just have the characters date?”

Sana shrugged. “The PR team ran the numbers, and this would get a better outcome.”

”It could have been such a huge step forward for LGBT representation in media,” Mina said, posture tense. “If she really wanted to make a political statement, she should have gone through with it.”

Sana frowned. Did Mina believe they made the wrong choice? She had never heard her talk so much about a topic in one of their meetings. She wanted to argue, but didn’t have the energy.

”Hey,” Momo cut in. “Minari, I don’t think we need to be telling them this. They’re in such a tough situation as it is, and it’s not their fault that their director screwed them over.”

Opening her mouth to reply, Mina paused, then nodded. 

“She didn’t screw us over,” Sana said, still frowning. “It’s not her fault that this country is so close-minded.”

“So, are we not gonna talk about how Sana and Dahyun are now dating? They’re officially the gayest members of TWICE, and you can all suck it!”

The group turned to Jeongyeon.

“I don’t know, Jeong,” Tzuyu said. “You won by a landslide when the fans voted. Sana and Dahyun would have to do a lot to catch up.”

There had been a poll that circulated in the fandom about which TWICE Group 1 member would be the most likely to kiss a girl. Chaeyoung had found it one day and brought it to the group, cackling, to show them that 60% of the fans had voted for Jeongyeon, with the other 40% about evenly distributed between the other eight members.

”It’s literally just because of my short hair! They did gay things together basically every episode!”

”Gay things,” Chaeyoung muttered under her breath, then bust into a fit of giggles, hiding her face in Tzuyu’s shoulder.

”To be really honest, I almost believed you when Dahyun told us you two were dating,” Nayeon said.

Incredulously, Sana looked at her. “Seriously?”

Nayeon shrugged. “I keep up with the fans pretty often, and one day I got into reading the Saida theories. They were pretty compelling.”

”But you live with us,” Dahyun said, staring. “You should know better, right?”

”You two sleep in the same bed, like a lot,” Chaeyoung piped up. “I feel like I always see Sana in our room.”

”The two of you almost never left the other’s side during our show.”

”Sana, I always have to get you to wake Dahyun up, since you’re the only one who can do it,” Jihyo chimed in, eyes twinkling.

”And Dahyun has this special smile she does when she’s with Sana,” Tzuyu cut in. “It’s really cute.”

Starting, Dahyun swiveled her head in Tzuyu’s direction, eyes wide. “I do? What does it look like?”

Sana bit her lip, because she knew exactly what expression Tzuyu was talking about, and Dahyun’s reaction was way too cute. 

Tzuyu’s face was blank for a moment, but then let a small, gentle smile spread across her lips, eyes crinkling into tiny crescents.

The room erupted with high-pitches noises as seven girls made every variation of _oooh_ ,  _awww,_ and other exclamations of cuteness. 

Tzuyu burst into laughter and Dahyun’s face was as red as a firetruck. 

“I do not do that!” she said, pouting.

Sana pinched one of her cheeks. “I’m sorry Dahyunnie, but you do.”

”You noticed?” Dahyun asked, face aghast.

“I’m your best friend,” Sana said. “And now I’m your girlfriend. I’d have no right to call myself either one of those if I didn’t.”

Rolling her eyes, Dahyun lightly pushed Sana away and folded her arms, but a small smile spread across her lips anyway.

”Look, look!” Jeongyeon said. “She’s doing the smile! How is she not the gayest member?”

“Because you’re the one with short hair,” Tzuyu said. “And I’ve seen your room. You have way too many pictures of Janelle Monae.”

Color rose to Jeongyeon’s cheeks as she sputtered. Nayeon, as odd as she had been acting around Jeongyeon lately, cracked a smile.

“Hey, guys,” Chaeyoung said, voice a bit hesitant. “We joke, but there’s nothing wrong with being gay, right?”

A blanket of silence settled upon the room, extinguishing the light mood. Sana surveyed the whole room, and almost no one was looking at one another. It was unsettling how quickly the mood changed.

After a long moment, Chaeyoung looked down too. “Nevermind,” she said. “Forget I ever asked.”

”No,” Jihyo said, voice firm. She looked up and her gaze was resolute as she stared back at Chaeyoung. “This is important. We’re not just going to ignore this.”

Jihyo straightened and looked at the entire group, each member in turn. “I want you all to listen to this, and listen very closely.”

She brought to Sana’s mind the image of a lioness presiding over her pack.

“There is nothing wrong with being gay, and I will personally be here for anyone who finds out they identify that way. I know it might be intimidating to think about because we’ve never really talked about it, but I am telling you that it’s okay to be gay in this space. If anyone has a problem with that here, we’re going to have a long talk.”

Jihyo quirked a brow. “Is that clear?”

”Crystal,” said Momo.

Jeongyeon cleared her throat. Sana felt the attention of the room focus in on her.

“I’ve told a couple people here individually, but I’ve never said it to all of you.”

Jeongyeon paused and took a small breath.

“I want you guys to know I’m bi, I swing both ways, I dig dudes and girls. So there,” she said, directing her last statement toward Jihyo. “You got me.”

Sana’s heart swelled with affection for Jeongyeon. Her fellow member was holding her chin high, looking all of them in the eye in turn, but Sana could see the bob of her throat as she swallowed repeatedly.

It made Sana wonder how long she had been holding onto this, and whether any of the others were hiding something similar.

But right then, Jeongyeon needed them.

Leaning over, Sana wrapped her arms around Jeongyeon’s shoulders and kissed her cheek. “You’re awesome, Jeong.”

”Yeah,” Chaeyoung said, eyes suspiciously bright. A soft smile graced Mina’s lips. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Jihyo said. Next to her, Nayeon was gazing at Jeongyeon, eyes widened a fraction more than usual.

“That took some guts,” Tzuyu said. “And I’m honored you told us.”

Sana let her head fall on Jeongyeon’s shoulder and felt the other girl swallow again. “Aw shit, you guys,” Jeongyeon said, scrubbing at her eyes. “I gotta go, you’re gonna make me cry. I love you all.”

She got up and walked in the direction of her room with a sniff. Sana saw Jihyo raise a brow at Nayeon, who turned away and busied herself studying her nails.

“I’m going to go to my room too. I want to try and catch a quick nap,” Dahyun said.

All at once, the day caught up with Sana, and her eyelids suddenly felt very heavy. _That’s right_ , she thought. _I haven’t slept since two nights ago._

”I think I have to sleep as well,” Sana said, standing up. “I didn’t get much rest last night.”

About a million different things were whirling around underneath the surface of Sana’s mind, but she was so tired that she couldn’t process any of it.

”Sleep well, you two,” said Jihyo. “You deserve it.”

Sana gave her a tired smile, and headed for the refuge of her cool, dark room. The smooth wood under her bare feet, and the familiar smell of Jeongyeon’s lemon cleaner soothed the frayed edges of her mind, and she felt tension leeching from her body.

Sana got to her room, fell onto her bed, and couldn’t remember anything beyond that.

* * *

 

After a hazy period of wandering through a heather-colored dreamscape, Sana’s consciousness returned to her with the gradualness of surfacing from underwater.

She laid still for a moment, looking up at the ceiling, enjoying the moment of quiet before her mind caught up with her body and she remembered that she had tasks to do and situations to worry about.

As always, that moment came to an end way before Sana would have liked. Letting out a small sigh from her nose, she rolled over and checked the time on her phone.

 _6:47pm_. Almost time for dinner.

She felt a bit gross, since she had slept in her day clothes. Sana found herself craving fresh air.

About thirteen minutes until she had to be back. Sana could do that.

Snagging her coat off her coat hook, she walked out of her room and toward the direction of the back porch.

As she walked, Sana pulled on her winter coat. It was early winter; either it would be jacket weather or it would be winter coat plus snowpants weather. She decided to play it safe.

Sana got to the door to the back porch and flung it open, water to feel the winter air. 

Her breath was taken away when she was greeted by the sight of flurries of snow swirling past. Without a second thought, Sana stepped outside and closed her eyes, feeling the soft sensation of snowflakes alighting upon her face, promptly followed by a trickle of cold as they melted on the spot.

A feeling of peace settled over her body, warming her as if she was in front of a roaring fire instead of in the middle a near-blizzard.

”You might want to put some shoes on,” said a voice from her right.

Sana looked down and her feet were indeed missing shoes. She blinked.

”You might be right,” she said, turning. She was greeted by the sight of Dahyun leaning against the porch rail, teeth chattering the slightest, with her phone in hand.

“But you might want to put a proper coat on,” Sana said, eying Dahyun’s sweater. 

“Touchè,” Dahyun said with a tiny smile. She looked back out into the dense white fog and swirls of snowflakes, uncharacteristically quiet.

Sana moved next to her and looked out into the blizzard as well. “Is everything all right?” she asked, bringing her hand up to rub Dahyun’s upper back, knowing that was one of the best ways to warm someone up. 

The other girl leaned into her touch and didn’t respond at first, keeping her eyes trained on the horizon.

”I called my parents,” she said.

”How did it go?” Sana asked, genuinely curious. Dahyun didn’t talk much about her parents.

”Well, considering it was the first time I’ve called them in years, it went pretty well.”

A current of shock ran through Sana’s body. She turned to look at her best friend. “You haven’t called them in years?”

The girl shook her head. “They never agreed with my decision to become an idol. They thought it was too risky, and that it promoted un-Christian values.” Some emotion flitted across Dahyun’s face, but it was gone as fast as it had come. “They might’ve been right, but I still have a strong relationship with my faith. It’s just not what they’re used to.”

“Did you call them to tell them about the announcement we’re about to make?”

Dahyun gave the slightest nod. “In a way. I know we weren’t supposed to tell our families it was fake, but there was no avoiding it with mine. They would have disowned me.”

Sana studied her best friend. She had said the last part like it was a given, like it was a fact of the universe, but Sana saw how her eyes were suspiciously bright.

Gazing out into the snow flurries once more, Sana said, “It must be hard. To be gay in this country.”

”Yeah,” Dahyun said, voice quiet.

”I guess we’re about to find out.”

”Yep.”

Silence settled between them as the snowflakes floated to the ground. Old feelings rose up within Sana as she felt the chilly winter wind stirring her hair and breathed in the ice-cold air. 

A thought came to her and she suddenly turned back to Dahyun. The other girl met her gaze as eagerness rose up Sana’s stomach, coming to gather in her upper chest.

”You know, I just realized that I never told you about my home.” When Dahyun opened her mouth to respond, Sana put a finger to her lips. “Not my home now. Not TWICE. My childhood home.”

Dahyun closed her mouth and nodded.

“I grew up in the mountains of Japan, in a small mountain town. I barely remember it,” Sana said, a small smile coming to her face. “But I remember the feelings. I remember the hot tea my grandmother would make me on the especially cold days. If it was a special occasion, I would get hot chocolate, since it was my favorite.”

Sana looked out into the snow. “I played in the snow my whole childhood. I didn’t have any other choice - it was never not snowy where we lived. I would play hide-and-seek and other games among the pine trees with a few other kids in the village. Sometimes, pine needles would fall on my head, and it would always scare me half to death. The other kids said I was cursed.”

Dahyun giggled. “I can imagine you being scared by a pine needle.”

The nostalgic smile that had spread across Sana’s face widened into a grin. “Oh, hush, you.”

”I had to move when I was still fairly young, and I was so sad. I was bitter, too, and I had nothing to do and no way to vent. So my best friend made up a game for me to pass the time.”

Sana turned back to Dahyun and searched until she spotted what she was looking for. Reaching out, she plucked a single snowflake from the girl’s jet-black hair. 

“You see this?” Sana asked, tilting the snowflake so that Dahyun could see it better. Her best friend nodded. “He told me that before it melts, I would have to find another that matches its pattern exactly.”

Dahyun crinkled her brow. “But isn’t that impossible?”

”Maybe,” said Sana, smiling. She crushed the snowflake between her thumb and forefinger, feeling the liquid seep down her fingers. “But I always tried, and I still do. The reward is worth it.”

She felt Dahyun’s gaze trained on her. “What’s the reward?”

Sana looked back out into the horizon and noticed the faintest hint of orange. “A wish, granted.”

”I could have come up with better.”

Sana quirked a brow. “Tell me you don’t have a wish you’d want granted.”

”Everyone has a wish they’d want granted,” Dahyun said. Her gaze was a thousand miles away. “I’m no exception.”

The distance between them seemed to widen, and Sana didn’t like it.

”Look,” she said, pointing to the horizon. “You can see the sun setting through the storm.”

A few lone rays of sun fought their way through the clouds, resulting in a few blotches of color in the far-away sky.

Dahyun hummed, and Sana focused in on her face.

It was like Dahyun belonged in the winter. Her jet-black hair with her pale complexion made Sana think she would be fit to be some type of winter goddess. Though almost all the girls in the house had brown eyes, Dahyun’s were deep and soft in a way that reminded Sana of woodsmoke; the smell that constantly followed her throughout her childhood romps in her village - the scent of home.

“We should probably go in,” said Dahyun, turning away from the sunset. “They’re probably waiting for us.”

”Yeah,” said Sana. “But, the next time you’re worried about something, will you make sure to try out that game I showed you?” She batted her eyelashes. “Pretty please?”

Dahyun huffed and turned away. “You know I can’t say no to you.”

A soft smile made its way across Sana’s face, and she leaned in and gave  Dahyun’s cheek a quick peck before moving to hold the door open for her best friend.

When she looked back, Dahyun was holding her cheek with an expression that Sana couldn’t identify. She blinked when her gaze met Sana’s and walked through the door.

 _Odd_ , thought Sana. But she knew Dahyun was likely just nervous about the announcement they’d have to make the next morning.

Everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohohohohohoho Sana
> 
> while I was writing this chapter I was listening to Bae (by hyolyn, the summer queen) and sometimes I would get very distracted and start dancing in the middle of my writing session. watch that music video and support her!!! she really did that - between choosing the Kirkland krew as her dancers, having a black love interest, and the visuals, she has snatched my heart.
> 
> I have so many ideas for the next parts of this story, I’m so excited! and honestly I’m so indecisive that I might just chose to execute all of them. hope u guys are excited for the saida fake dating :). (it’s very much inspired by Choice and Timing btw, that fic reminded me about how much I love fake dating fics!)


	6. shifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back!!! i've been slowly suffocating under the pressure of school and applying to FUTURE schools, so i had to take a break from ao3 right after i wrote this [chuuves au](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816663). i hope you lovelies enjoy this :). it was nice to take a break from apps to write, but i'll soon have to start again.
> 
> also!!!! i just made a twt! u can find me @lovingggs for eventual fic updates + gay content :)
> 
> TW: panic attack in the first part of this chapter. if you want to skip it, just scroll to where you see a section full of a bunch of italics (spoiler: it's where Sana starts talking to her mom).

The TWICE company car rumbled along the rough alley road, causing Sana to jolt in her seat. 

JYP looked back from the passenger’s seat. “Are you two okay back there?” he yelled over the noise.

”Right as rain,” Dahyun responded, the bumps in the road audible in her voice.

“Sorry about this,” the driver said. “It’s the only way we’ll be able to get you to the studio on time.”

They were headed toward the news station at which they were about to make their announcement. Merrin had arranged the structure of the interview with the management of the station - it would be a normal interview, up until the last few questions, when Sana and Dahyun would make their big reveal.

Sticky, greasy anxiety brewed in Sana’s gut. She couldn’t believe she was about to tell the world she was a lesbian and in love with her best friend. And it was going to be a total lie.

 _This is the best option_.

The statistics told the whole story. No matter how Sana felt, doing this was the only way to keep things intact.

“We’re here,” the driver said. 

Somehow, Sana hadn’t noticed the car coming to a halt. Looking out the window, Sana expected to see a clear path to the doors of the broadcasting center, but what greeted her was anything but.

People dressed in suits and dresses and holding microphones and cameras crowded around the car. They shoved in front of one another and shouted indecipherable words, mouths contorting in an almost comically exaggerated manner, all combining into an indistinct clamor.

Reporters. Filling the entire space between the car and their destination.

As she watched the swarm of people jostling and crowding their car, Sana felt an old feeling of panic buzzing within her, setting her whole body on edge.

The reporters started pressing against the car and Sana sank back in her seat. The dark walls of the car felt like they were closing in, and a blinding flash of light made her flinch, curling in on herself involuntarily.

Sana's breath got shorter and shorter. 

Her mind flew years back and the noise faded into a constant buzzing. Her vision went hazy.

She didn't know when it happened, but she eventually became aware of a soft hand cradling her own. 

Dahyun's face swam into her view. Sana vaguely registered that her face was a mask of concern.

"Sana, focus on me."

Sana opened her mouth to reply but all she could do was gasp for air. Her adrenaline surged again. "Can't," she managed to choke out, gesturing at her mouth and throat.

Dahyun nodded. "That's okay," she said. Sana heard muffled noises as she gasped for breath. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"We're going to get you some fresh air, okay?" she heard Dahyun say. Sana managed to nod, and the hand holding hers tugged her across the seat and out of the car.

A gust of cool air hit her face and Sana felt some of the pressure on her chest alleviate. 

It got easier and easier to breathe, and eventually her body calmed down. Sana wasn't sure how long it took, but she was sure it was a while. She felt Dahyun at her side the whole time, a cool hand in hers.

Sana squeezed her eyes shut one last time, took in a deep breath through her nose, and opened her eyes.

Somehow, the area was completely empty of any reporters. Sana wondered when that had happened, and then spotted a group of hulking security guards blocking the area off. 

“Has it passed?”

Dahyun’s eyes were filled with concern, her brows brought slightly together. Her bottom lip protruded a bit as she searched Sana’s face with her liquid brown eyes.

Sana nodded, not trusting herself to speak just yet. 

She felt a pair of arms encircling her waist. Looking down, Sana saw Dahyun burrow her face into her chest. 

Tired warmth radiated through Sana’s body, and she brought her arms up to hold her best friend. Time seemed to freeze.

”I hate reporters,” Dahyun said at last. “They can suck it.”

Sana just hugged her tighter.

“Your interview starts in about thirty minutes,” a voice came from ahead of them. JYP had emerged from the building and was walking toward them. “Sana, we’re going to let you rest in a quiet room for about fifteen minutes.”

She didn’t think she needed it, so Sana opened her mouth to reply.

”No buts,” JYP said. “You just had a panic attack. You need rest. Preferably, I’d give you longer, but the interview would be late then.”

“Okay,” Sana said, voice a bit shaky. Dahyun let her go but hovered close by.

JYP led her into the building. It looked old-fashioned from outside, but the inside it was filled with modern technical equipment and bustling with activity. 

They turned a corner and entered a room stocked with plush pillows and cushy couches. 

JYP and Dahyun stood outside the door. “We’ll come get you in fifteen minutes,” JYP said. 

Sana nodded, and he closed the door with a soft _click_.

Sitting down, Sana put her head in her hands. She hadn't had a panic attack in years. She had forgotten how draining and terrifying it was. It felt like she'd just run a marathon.

Sana turned her phone on and dialed the only number she knew by heart.

Her phone's tinkling ringtone sounded only once before Sana heard someone pick up the phone.

"Sana?" came a worn voice, tinny through the tiny phone speaker but recognizable enough for Sana to feel a wave of relief wash over her whole body. "Is that you?"

 _"Hi, Mom,"_   Sana said, switching to Japanese.  _"It's me."_

 _"How are you, darling?"_ her mother asked, warmth flooding her tone.  _"It feels so long since I've heard from my baby girl, even if you called me just a few days ago."_

Maybe it was because she was still vulnerable, but Sana felt her throat tighten.  _"I've been okay. I'm just a bit nervous right now."_

 _"Nervous?"_ her mother said, curiosity in her tone.  _"For what reason?"_

Sana sighed. _“I’m not supposed to tell you.”_

 _”Sana,”_ her mother said, the slightest hard tone creeping into her voice. _“Since when has you not telling me the truth ever yielded something good?”_

A small smile came to Sana’s lips. _“Never.”_

_“Exactly.”_

To hell with the PR team.

 _”I’m making a TV announcement today,”_ Sana said without another second thought. _“And it’s going to be a total lie. Orchestrated by my showrunner, JYP and the PR team.”_

 _”That’s far from uncommon,”_ said her mother. _“Why is this causing you so much worry?”_

 _”Did you see the episode?”_ Sana asked, understanding dawning upon her.

 _”No,”_ her mother replied. _“I was working the night shift and I was able to record it, but haven’t gotten around to actually watching it yet.”_

Sana had known how busy her mother was, and half-expected the answer, but still felt a twinge of apprehension at the thought of filling her in.  _"Something happened that landed us in the middle of a huge controversy."_

 _"What happened?"_ Worry crept into her mother's tone.

_Here goes nothing. "Dahyun and I - our characters - they may be the first gay characters on network television._

There was a period of silence on the other end of the line, then,  _"Okay. That must be tough. Are you about to announce something about that?"_

 _"Wait,"_ Sana said.  _"You aren't disgusted or anything?"_

Sana's mother clucked her tongue.  _"You have too little faith in me."_

 _"I - "_ Sana stuttered. _"It's just - Dahyun's parents are - I thought -"_

_"That must be very hard for that best friend of yours."_

Sana thought of how troubled Dahyun had been lately.  _"Yeah,"_ she said. _"I think it is."_

_"But what are you nervous about? It doesn't seem like it's about your show."_

_"Well,"_ Sana said, releasing a huff of breath. _"It is and it isn't. My show-runner's PR team ran some statistics and they found that the only way to satisfy both sides of the controversy is if Dahyun and I pretend to date."_ Though she knew her mother wasn't prejudiced, nervousness swam in Sana's gut.  _"So I guess I wanted to give you a heads up. And I'm really nervous about this, for some reason."_

 _"Do you want to know something funny?"_ Amusement touched her mother's tone.

Sana felt a rare twinge of mild irritation at her mom's laid-back attitude, but she knew better than to express it.  _"Sure."_

 _"I thought you were going to tell me that you and Dahyun were actually a couple."_ Sana felt the teasing in her mother's voice.

The room suddenly felt a lot warmer as blood rushed to Sana's face.  _"Mom!"_

Light laughter coming from the other end of the line made Sana pout, even though her mom couldn't see.  _"That's what the girls said, too."_

Sana listened to her mother's laughter quiet down.  _"I'm sorry, honey. It was just too easy,"_ said her mother, seeming to catch her breath.  _"And I hate hearing that you're so worried about it. Because I know that you can convince everyone you're dating your best friend if it's what this show needs, that you will knock this interview out of the park, and that you have always been an amazing actress. I have the most faith in you."_

A spot of warmth grew in Sana's chest as she listened to her mother, tension easing that she wasn't even aware of carrying.

_"It's odd to me that your show is going to ask this of you two; to me, it seems like an irresponsible decision. But I trust your judgement, and I will always be here for you, no matter what."_

_"Thank you,"_ said Sana. A single tear slipped down her cheek, and all she could feel was relief.  _"I think I really needed that."_

A knock sounded on the door. "Sana?" came Dahyun's muffled voice. "You ready?"

"One second!" Sana said over her shoulder, holding the phone away from her mouth. Bringing the phone back up, Sana's tone turned apologetic.  _"I think I have to go."_

_"Go knock that interview out of the park, and call me afterwards, okay? I'll be watching."_

_"Okay,"_   said Sana, a smile coming to her lips.  _"Bye, Mom."_

She ended the call and stood up. A wave of fatigue washed over her, but Sana just shook her head to clear it and opened the door.

Dahyun was standing right outside. "Did I hear you on the phone with your mom?" she asked.

Sana nodded. "I told her the truth. I couldn't keep it from her."

"Yeah," said Dahyun, leading Sana down the hall. "Pardon my French, but fuck Merrin Powers and her PR team."

Even though she was still physically and emotionally drained, Sana had to bring a hand up to her mouth to hide a small grin. She shook her head. "Disrespectful."

"I know it was our choice, but I hate that we have to do this, you know?" Dahyun's worried eyes found her own. "That you have to do this."

Sana knew Dahyun wasn't just talking about the interview. She took a deep breath, ignored her tiredness, her trembling legs. "I'm okay now, Dahyun. Please don't worry about me."

"I want to believe you," Dahyun said, the words seeming hard for her. "But this is the first attack you've had in years."

"I know," Sana said. "But I feel a lot better now. And I know we can do this." She forced her lips into a smile.

Sana was still nervous about the interview, but the talk with her mother had cleared her head.

"Okay, well," Dahyun said, sighing and coming to a stop. "We're here. If you feel uncomfortable or anything, just let me know, okay?"

"I will."

* * *

Merrin's PR team briefed them on what they were going to say and how the interview was going to go, then they met the host, a jovial man with a sparkling smile. 

He had a penchant for bad puns that made Sana giggle and Dahyun break into a toothy grin, and Sana was very grateful that Merrin had chosen him to be their interviewer. She felt some of her frayed nerves smooth over as she sat on the cushy interview couch and listened to him and Dahyun joke around.

It didn't even feel like an interview when the camera started rolling. They sat down - Sana and Dahyun on the couch and the interviewer on the chair - and just started talking after the introduction was made.

Sana noticed every so often the interviewer would throw in a question regarding the show, like  _how was filming one episode in a week?_ or  _what is the purpose of Merrin releasing every episode as you film it?_   but beyond that, they stuck to light banter and questions that would let fans get to know Sana and Dahyun better, with Dahyun doing most of the talking. Lightening the mood for the next segment.

Fifteen minutes passed in a flash, and they started to move into the announcement.

"We're coming to the end of our time here, and I want to hit one last topic," said the interviewer, addressing the audience. "A lot of you at home might have been expecting this."

He turned to Sana and Dahyun. "You two - or rather, your characters - caused quite the stir with that last scene of the episode. Some refused to watch it, and some criticized it for leading on LGBT audiences with a romance that will never blossom. To fan the flames, Merrin Powers released a statement that said that the two of you improvised the whole scene. So I want to ask the two of you, what is the truth behind the rumors?"

 _The truth behind the rumors._  It was kind of funny.

Sana and Dahyun exchanged a rehearsed loaded look.

"We never meant to cause any problems or spread any bad messages," said Sana at last. "All we did in that scene was follow our instincts. That's what our acting teachers have been telling us, and it resulted in the take that Merrin used."

She looked down at her feet, heart pounding, and Dahyun slipped her hand in hers. With that, Sana's part was done.

"I am sorry that people reacted so negatively to our art," Dahyun said. "But I will never be sorry for making it, and I'll never be sorry for something else, either."

Dahyun turned her gaze toward Sana, brown eyes wide and earnest. "During that scene, our characters may have looked like they were in love. And maybe they are, maybe they aren't. Only they know. But what I know," Dahyun said, entangling her fingers with Sana's and smiling a small, trusting smile, "Is that every time I act with her, I fall even more in love."

Something swelled and popped in Sana's chest. She couldn't help but gently smile back at Dahyun.

"Our characters may not be in love, but we are." Dahyun's eyes shone. "I know that's hard to accept," Dahyun said, turning toward the camera. "But it's true, and it's beautiful. Sana's not a man, and I would never want her to be, because if I did, I would not truly love her. I love her for who she is - my best friend, my partner, and the most gorgeous human I know, in every single way."

Sana felt a flutter, deep in her stomach. She really loved her best friend so much, Sana thought, as she stared at Dahyun.

"Thank you for sharing that with us, Dahyun," said the interviewer, eyes a little bright. "I can only speak for myself, but I think that anyone who would hate that type of love would be in the wrong."

The lights seemed to brighten when Dahyun's smooth lips stretched into a smile. "No, thank you," she said. "This means a lot."

"Well, thanks for tuning in, folks! Thank you for tuning in tonight, and we'll see you tomorrow."

The tape stopped rolling, and it was like the whole room released a collective sigh of relief. 

"That was surprisingly more emotional than I thought it was," said the interviewer. "Superb acting, Dahyun."

The girl bowed her head. "Thank you."

For some reason, everything seemed a little blurrier than normal. "Thank you for having us," Sana said softly. "I'm glad we did this."

"Me too," said Dahyun. "I think we're going to have to avoid social media for a couple of days, though."

Sana laughed, forcing lightness as her heavy heart thudded in her chest.

* * *

A few hours later, she found herself taking a deep breath across from a distraught Momo in Jack’s Stacks.

The dancer’s shoulders were slumped with an invisible weight. “Thanks for coming.”

"I wouldn't leave you hanging,” said Sana.

Momo had called her asked if they could meet up. Sana heard the strain in her friend’s voice and immediately agreed. 

Maybe she also welcomed the break from her whirling thoughts: studio lights reflected in earnest brown eyes; warmth of a gentle hold on Sana’s hand; perfect lips stretching into a trademark dazzling smile.

(Sana's chest felt tight.)

(Her brain must have been jumbled from her panic attack.)

The dancer heaved a sigh. "Our friends are such idiots, sometimes.”

Sana looked up and saw Momo staring out the diner’s window. ”Why do you say that?”

"Jeongyeon came to me yesterday,” Momo sighed again. “Apparently, she had a fight with Nayeon.”

The two fought all the time. Sana tilted her head. “Like, a genuinely bad fight?”

“They’re not on talking terms anymore.” 

Electric shock ran through Sana’s body. “Oh.”

”I know,” said Momo, rubbing her temples. 

So, Sana hadn't imagined it. Things were changing. Her gut churned. “What happened?”

According to Momo, Jeongyeon had noticed that Nayeon had been isolating herself from the group. One day after practice, she cornered Nayeon to talk about it.

* * *

_Jeongyeon opened the doors to the practice room to see Nayeon slumped against the wall. She was curled in on herself, head resting on her knees._

_"Hey, Nabongs," she said as she gently closed the door behind her. "Is everything okay?"_

_Nayeon raised her head. "Oh. It's you," she said. "Just who I need to see right now." Her tone was rough._

_A scathing retort came to the tip of Jeongyeon's tongue. Then she saw how Nayeon blinked rapidly, fixing her stare on the ceiling._

_Jeongyeon lowered herself down next to her. "Yeah, it's me - your favorite member that you totally need to see right now."_

_Nayeon scoffed. "As if."_

_Jeongyeon hesitated, then moved her hand on top of Nayeon's. Nayeon looked at her, eyes wide. Jeongyeon smiled, holding back a laugh. "I totally am."_

_Nayeon huffed. She melted into Jeongyeon's side and buried her head into her shoulder. Jeongyeon tensed. "I can't believe you're not running away from skinship, for once," Nayeon said into her shirt._

_"It looked like you needed it," Jeongyeon said. "What's been going on with you lately, Nabongs? You've been too quiet."_

_"Are you calling me loud?" Jeongyeon could feel Nayeon's glare without even turning her head._

_"Maybe," Jeongyeon smiled. "You're avoiding the question, though."_

_Nayeon was silent. Jeongyeon sat still, listening to the buzzing of the fluorescent practice room lights._

_"Do you want to know what I think?" Jeongyeon asked. Nayeon stayed silent._

_"I think you put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. I think you work so hard and are so talented that that's the only thing you expect from yourself. And I think it's costing you."_

_She felt Nayeon stiffen. "Now, you're forced to realize that you aren't perfect. That you can't be absolutely stunning and immaculate all the time. Because instead of you, someone picked Sana and Dahyun to debut first."_

_"Is that what you came here to tell me?" Nayeon said, sitting up. "Do you even know what you're saying?" Nayeon said. "Why do you think you of all people get to tell me this?"_

_Jeongyeon's temper flared. "I'm here to tell you that you expect too much from yourself and it's stupid!" Jeongyeon said. "And that for once, you need to cut it out!"_

_The practice room lights buzzed. Hurt flashed through Nayeon's eyes._

_As quick as it had come, Jeongyeon's anger faded. "Nabongs, I just -"_

_"Don't call me that." Nayeon tore her hand away from Jeongyeon's. "You don't get to tell me what to do, Jeongyeon, like you have some type of power over me."_

_"I never -"_

_"Just stop!" Nayeon yelled. "You think everything revolves around you and your opinions! You think you know everything about me!" She shook her head and let out a laugh. "I'm tired of being strung along and being rewarded with stuff like this."_

_Jeongyeon scoffed. "What do you even mean? You're never strung along. You never let anyone tell you anything you don't like."_

_Nayeon looked at her coldly. "We're over."_

_"There's nothing to end?"_

_Nayeon stood. "Good." She turned and walked out the door, letting it slam behind her._

* * *

"What are we going to do?" asked Sana. Nausea rolled in her stomach. She swallowed it down - swallowed down the fear of losing TWICE, of being figuratively homeless once again. She shut it out. This wasn't about her - it was about Jeongyeon and Nayeon.

"What can we do?" asked Momo. "I feel terrible for Jeongyeon. She's so torn up about all of this."

Guilt flooded Sana's body. "I can't help but think that this happened because Dahyun and I debuted first," Sana said, staring at her lap.

"What! No!" Momo said. Sana gave her a look. "Well, it kind of did. But it's not you guys' fault. Nayeon holds herself to a high standard and Nayeon and Jeongyeon have issues that have been building up for a while. It's something that was bound to happen."

Momo was surprisingly observant sometimes. "I know, I know. You're right. I just can't believe it right now."

Momo frowned. "Anxiety?" 

Most of TWICE knew about Sana's issues with anxiety. Sana knew if she told Momo the rest would find out soon after. But she wouldn't be able to hide it for long anyway.

"I had a panic attack today."

Momo's frown deepened and her brow creased deeply. "Was it because of the interview?"

Sana nodded. Momo shifted out of her seat. Soon, Sana felt arms wrap around her, a chin settling on top of her head. She let herself melt into Momo, throat thick, and squeezed her eyes shut.

Sana thought of empty spaces on couches and loveseats. Of gorgeous, shining brown eyes. Of change.

Momo held her, warm and solid. The knot in her stomach unraveled just a little.

* * *

Sana was unsettled. She found herself sectioning herself off in her room and watching Japanese dramas to pass the time, only coming out for meals. The other members, particularly Momo, seemed worried, but they gave her the space she needed.

Dahyun didn't seek her out. Sana missed her  _(her eye-smile, her ridiculous faces at the dinner table, her Glee marathons and cuddles)_ but she was glad.

Thankfully, XYZ hadn't asked them to go on any fake dates yet. The dorm had collectively agreed to steer clear of news channels and Sana had stayed off social media, but she sensed the nation was still reeling from their announcement and didn't need any reminders about it.

Sana's mom called more often, giving her small updates about work and making Sana laugh when she sternly lectured their Shiba Inu, Gumdrop, after he jumped on the couch for the thousandth time. (Not that Gumdrop ever listened.)

They filmed and released three more episodes of Smoke and Shadows. The episodes focused on their individual development as agents, so Sana and Dahyun didn't have many scenes together.

Sana expected Dahyun to confront her about avoiding everyone, but the girl seemed to be dealing with her own problems. When they did have scenes together, Sana more often than not would see Dahyun chewing on her lip, staring off into space, or looking altogether too tense. Sana itched to comfort her and to smooth the worry lines from her face, but she kept her distance.

* * *

 For some reason the door just wouldn't unlock. Sana squinted in the dark, trying to figure out why the lock would move every time she got close with the key.

Then she blinked and Jihyo was standing in the doorway. She felt inexplicably happy. It felt like she hadn't seen TWICE's leader in forever. "Hiiiiii Jihyo!" Sana said. She moved in to hug Jihyo.

Jihyo's hands found her shoulders right as Sana was about to stumble into the door. "Jesus, Sana. How much did you have to drink?"

Sana straightened her spine and opened her eyes wide. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just drunk on love." She grinned. "My love for you."

"Oh my God, Sana," Jihyo muttered. "We're getting you to the couch."

Sana felt an arm hook around her waist and soon she felt herself heavily flopping down onto the couch.

Every small sound of the house felt like it was muffled by the peace of a night so late that it was almost morning. She didn't know what time it was. She'd tried pulling out her phone to look, but gave up when it almost slipped out of her hands.

"I'm not going to make you talk if you don't want to," she heard Jihyo's voice like it came from underwater. "Obviously, there's a reason you went out, got smashed, and returned at 3 a.m. - and it's not your desire to talk out your problems with us."

Even in Sana's muddled state, she registered the barb in those words. "Ouch," she mumbled.

"This is really out of character for you. And I'm really worried. About you, about Dahyun, and about our whole group. It feels like I'm losing all of you."

With difficulty, Sana raised her head to see Jihyo's eyes looking suspiciously bright. "Nooooooo," she said, bringing up her hand to paw at Jihyo's face. "Don't cry!"

Jihyo ducked her head away from Sana. "I'm not crying!"

"Okay, okay, I believe you," Sana said. She withdrew her hand.

Jihyo's shoulders hunched. She rubbed at her eyes. "It's been almost a month and Jeongyeon and Nayeon aren't interacting. Neither are Momo and Mina. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu aren't talking to anyone except for each other because they're afraid to pick sides. Dahyun walks around like she's in a daze all day. And I'm trying to keep it all together."

A rush of sadness left Sana feeling an inch more sober than before. "Oh, Jihyo. I'm so sorry."

"Normally," Jihyo continued. "I'd have you, the human embodiment of sunshine, keeping things afloat. But these days you're completely shutting us out, and I don't know why. And it makes me feel so powerless, because out of everyone in this entire situation, I'm the most worried about you, and I can't do anything to help."

Guilt twisted up Sana's gut. "Jihyo -" she started, reaching out her hand.

Jihyo stood up and smoothed down her skirt. "It's okay, Sana. Momo told me about the attack you had. Something's going on and you're just taking care of yourself. Just let me know if you ever need to talk."

She left. Sana considered standing up and going after her or making her way to bed, but her shaky legs vetoed both options.

Right before drifting off to sleep, Sana felt something wet sliding down the back of her hand.

* * *

"I'm finally the one waking you up for once, huh?"

Sana blinked and squinted her eyes against the bright light streaming in from the living room window. Her head throbbed. "What?" she husked.

A hand waved in front of her face. Sana looked up to see Dahyun grinning down at her from the back of the couch, clad in a familiar oversized shirt.

The morning light made Dahyun's sleep-mussed hair and puffy face look softer than usual. Without thinking, Sana reached out and touched her cheek.

Dahyun froze. Sana realized what she'd done and yanked her hand away. "Oh - sorry."

Dahyun brought a hand up to where Sana had grabbed. "What for?"

She didn't know. "I - oh! Did I hurt you?" Dahyun's face was red.

Dahyun's shook her head vigorously. "No, no, no. But I have to, uh, go get dressed now. I just wanted a snack from down here first."

Sana opened her mouth. She wanted to say something along the lines of  _let's_ _eat together,_ or _why do you always sleep in my old shirt?_ or _I miss you._

She shut her mouth instead. Dahyun padded away.

* * *

The holiday season got closer and closer and the dorm fell into a new normal. Movie nights and group dinners became rarer and rarer.

Sometimes Sana would talk or cuddle with Momo as Mina walked past in stony silence. She'd feel Momo stiffen and Mina would hold herself ramrod straight, like she was about to perform a ballet in front of hundreds of people.

Sometimes she and Nayeon went on trips to the mall. They'd pass Momo and Jeongyeon's shared room on the way out and Nayeon would try her hardest to pretend like she wasn't staring at the closed door.

Sana tried asking Nayeon about Jeongyeon once. The sentence "I don't want to talk about it" had never been uttered in a more hair-raising way. She steered the conversation to a glittery eyeshadow palette she'd just spotted and never brought it up again. Even if Sana hadn't been feeling down, she doubted she'd be able to do anything about the tension in the dorm. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were way too stubborn, and neither Momo or Mina knew how to talk to each other. (Sana wasn't even sure what Mina's issue with Momo was.) She sighed heavily, unscrewed her water bottle, and took a long sip.

"If it isn't my favorite co-star!"

Sana glanced up to see Jax grinning at her, a twinkle in his eyes. Despite her mood, she returned his smile. "Hey, Jax."

He lowered himself next to her slowly. "They're really going hard on us today, huh? I feel like I've been standing for days."

Sana nodded. She was tired but glad that they were working everyone hard. Losing herself in playing Shizuko was therapeutic.

"You seem a little down."

Sana sharply looked up at Jax, eyes widening. "What do you mean?" she asked. "I'm fine."

Jax raised his eyebrow. "I never said you weren't. So now I feel like you aren't."

A small laugh escaped Sana. She looked down. "I'm bad at hiding things."

"It's weird to see you so down when you're usually cheering up everyone on set. I'm glad I could make you smile a little."

"Thank you." Sana felt her cheeks warm.

"You know what else is weird?" Jax fixed her with a look. "You and Dahyun."

Sana opened her mouth to deny it, but Jax cut her off. "Don't even think about denying it, Minatozaki. You're usually hanging off each other and now you can barely stay in the same room without one of you finding an excuse to leave."

Sana frowned. She hadn't noticed Dahyun avoiding her, too. "We're just handling some changes."

"Like the fake dating thing."

Sana had mostly been thinking of Nayeon and Jeongyeon's fight. She felt a twinge of unease at the mention of her fake relationship. "That's one of them."

"It must be a huge change. Have you been checking the media lately?"

Sana grimaced. "I've been avoiding it."

Jax's gaze turned sympathetic. "I get that. Dating scandals can be hard, not to mention a lesbian one." A large hand covered her own. It was nice. "You should consider checking out social media. Not all of it is ugly. You guys are really important to some people." He somehow looked hopeful.

Sana hadn't thought much about how she and Dahyun would affect people positively. Something warm bloomed in her chest.

"Jax!"

Jax looked where Merrin was standing across the room, startled. He straightened up, took Sana's hand and pressed a kiss to the back. "I hope you work things out with Dahyun soon. If not, you know where to find me."

Sana watched his broad, muscular back as he walked away.

Jax was exactly her type. Smart, kind, and physically attractive. If all the fake dating chaos wasn't happening, Sana would probably at least be hooking up with him by then.

But for some reason, she felt warm and comfortable around Jax, and that was it. Something was missing, and Sana wasn't sure what.

* * *

 It's then when Merrin decides it's a good idea to have Sana and Dahyun's first fake date.

After learning that Dahyun had been avoiding her, Sana was a little apprehensive. She wasn't sure if she was ready, so she knew Dahyun was still processing the situation. No matter how smoothly Dahyun handled the interview, Sana knew that she must have been terrified.

But though she was resistant, Sana went along with Merrin when she relayed the gameplan.

Merrin had reserved a few tables at a classy, upscale restaurant. One was for Sana and Dahyun and the rest were for a few trusted photographers. Essentially, Sana and Dahyun's job was to look cute, eat fancy food, and act like they were head-over-heels in love without "being too in-your-face about it," as Merrin put it.

The acting would be easy. Sana had pretended to be in love with far less attractive people than her best friend. Getting past Sana's lingering odd feelings from her interview with Dahyun? Much harder.

Yet, when she found herself watching a [suited](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/cd/ec/ab/cdecabe1394ca22a441ca2b60bdaa8bd.jpg) Dahyun stepping out of a black XYZ company car, she couldn't help but smile, something jumping in her chest.

"You look..." Sana let her eyes take in every inch of Dahyun's body, from her hips filling out her suit pants to her smooth jawline to her full lips. "Amazing."

Sana's mouth had gone a little dry. She didn't have to fake her swallow.

Dahyun went pink, but she smiled back. "If I look amazing, you must be the most gorgeous person on earth."

It was Sana's turn to flush, heat rushing to her cheeks and down the entire back of her neck. She felt a rush of gratitude for the stylist who had picked out her [dress](https://image.dhgate.com/0x0p/f2/albu/g6/M00/81/85/rBVaR1uGVwiAXTrmAANS0yjH404202.jpg) that night.

Dahyun offered Sana her arm. It was then that Sana noticed the continuous sound of shutters. "Want to head on in?"

Sana put on a winning smile. "Of course."

As they made their way inside, disguised photographers in tow, Dahyun leaned in to whisper, "The stylist only put me in a suit because she said I'd just look like a stick next to you."

Sana couldn't stop her loud laugh from escaping. The doorman's head snapped toward her. Sana covered her mouth in chagrin. Dahyun looked straight ahead, the picture of innocence. It was like no time had passed at all.

They walked into the main room of the restaurant. As soon as they set foot in the room, all conversations petered out until all Sana could hear was the sound of her own breathing. There was a loud clatter as someone dropped their silverware.

"Right this way, ladies," said the waiter. Sana and Dahyun followed him to a table for two in the corner. Almost every eye in the room seemed to be following her and Dahyun. The silence was deafening. Sana almost made eye contact with an elderly man looking upon them with stern disapproval. She dropped her gaze to the floor and didn't look up until they'd arrived at their table.

"Relax," whispered one of the assistant managers. "From here, all you two have to do is talk."

Sana nodded. The manager moved away. The waiter motioned for Sana and Dahyun to slide into their seats.

"Someone will be with you two shortly." He bowed. "I hope you have a good meal."

He left, and the silence over the restaurant was broken. Whispers broke out, which soon turned into full-fledged conversations once more.

Dahyun's shoulders slackened. "That was way too stressful." She began methodically folding and unfolding her napkin.

Sana's façade dropped. Though they were surrounded by dozens of people and somewhere there were about four cameras pointing at them, it felt like the two of them were alone.

Sana eyed Dahyun. "I think we need to talk."

Dahyun stopped fiddling with her napkin. "Yeah."

"How come you've been avoiding me?" Sana stuck her bottom lip out into a pout, trying to inject some humor into the situation. "Am I already that bad of a girlfriend?"

Dahyun shook her head and smiled. "Why have you been letting me avoid you?"

_Fair._

Sana decided it'd be best to just tell the truth. "I've been overwhelmed. Thinking about what so many people must be saying about you and me...I get really anxious. I let you shut me out because I've been shutting you out too." She left out how her stomach sometimes fluttered when she looked at Dahyun. Maybe that was just anxiety too.

Dahyun's brows knit together. "Have you been feeling better?"

Sana thought about her talk with Jax - the idea that they were giving people hope. A soft smile sprang to her lips, unbidden. "I have."

A soft touch on her hand. Sana glanced down to see that Dahyun had slipped her hand across the table and into hers. It would be a good shot. But all Sana could focus on was Dahyun's lips, stretched into a gentle smile. "I'm really glad."

Sana felt her cheeks warm. "But why did you shut me out?"

"It feels dumb, now," said Dahyun, her smile turning sheepish. "I was afraid of losing you."

Sana stared at her. "What?"

"I was scared of freaking you out," Dahyun chewed on her bottom lip. "All those articles were saying things about me. I got scared. I was worried that you'd start thinking I was creepy, so I just stayed away."

Dahyun's gaze was cast down and suspiciously bright. Sana had to fight the urge to rush over and gather her in her arms.

"Hey, Dahyun, look at me," Sana said, voice soft. Dahyun did and Sana's chest constricted when she saw her unshed tears. "You could never creep me out. No matter what."

"I'm not sure," Dahyun said. She looked...heavy.

"Well, I am," Sana said, injecting some force into her tone. "Nothing about this creeps me out." She squeezed Dahyun's hand.

Dahyun's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really. And nothing ever will. I'm fearless," Sana said, grinning at Dahyun.

A smile crept over Dahyun's face. "You're totally not."

"Maybe not," Sana admitted. "But I trust you."

Her best friend's face softened. "Okay. I believe you."

A waitress came by with a lighter and lit the candles in the middle of the table. The flickering candlelight looked good on Dahyun's face.

"Just to check: you were scared of losing me, so you ignored me instead?" Sana asked. Dahyun nodded, sheepish again. Sana almost laughed from the ridiculousness of it all. She pressed her lips together to hold in a giggle. "You're completely ridiculous."

Dahyun raised her eyebrow. "You did the same thing! So you are, too."

"Maybe."

Dahyun wrinkled her face and stuck her tongue out at Sana. Sana couldn't help but break into a fit of giggles. It took a moment, but Dahyun soon joined. They laughed together, spurred on by the increasingly ridiculous noises coming out of each other, up until a waitress came to take their orders. Sana wiped the tears of mirth from her eyes and forced herself to become more composed as Dahyun and the waitress figured out what to order. She'd occasionally catch Dahyun's eye and exchange smiles. It felt good.

"So," Dahyun said after she left. "Are you up for a Glee marathon tomorrow night?"

Though her face hurt from smiling so much, Sana immediately broke into another smile. "Of course! What episode have you gotten to?"

"Um, still the same one we left off on," Dahyun said, a slight flush to her cheeks. "I didn't want to watch it without you."

Sana had to hold back a squeal. "You're so cute," she cooed, reaching across the table to cup Dahyun's face.

Dahyun's face turned really red, then. "Sana! There are cameras!"

Sana shrugged, smiling. "You forget that we're supposed to be doing stuff like this."

"Oh, God," Dahyun said. "There's nothing to stop you anymore."

"Nope!" Sana said. She ignored the flutter in her chest when the warm candlelight played against Dahyun's face.

* * *

Sana threw herself onto the bed of a certain Japanese actress.

"Hi Mina!"

Said girl turned over to peer at Sana. "Hi, Sana. How was the date?"

"It was great, actually! Dahyun and I talked things out." Sana hadn't known just how much she'd missed Dahyun until she fondly watched her use fancy French food as props for her idiotic impressions of Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

"I figured. The pictures are really cute," Mina said, smiling.

"That's what I actually came to talk to you about," Sana propped up her head in her hands and gave Mina her most pleading look. "Will you show me how people reacted to Dahyun and me?"

Mina frowned. "I'm not so sure, Sana. Why do you want to know? It seems like knowing would only make you more anxious."

"I'm going to be anxious either way," Sana said. "And right now all I've seen are people reacting badly. I want to see if Dahyun and I are having any positive impact."

Mina's gaze softened. "Okay." She picked up her phone and typed in her passcode.

That was way easier than Sana had thought it'd be. "That's it?"

Mina shrugged. "I'm not under orders to keep you from looking at the news. Though, I wouldn't put that past Jihyo." Mina let out a soft laugh.

Sana wouldn't either. She'd half-thought Jihyo had, in fact, banned anyone from showing them the news.

"Why do you want me to show you, though? You could've just googled it yourself."

"I wanted a guide," Sana said. "And you seem like you're the most informed on this situation."

Mina gazed at Sana for a long moment, then nodded. She handed her phone to Sana. "Then here. These are the results for googling your names together."

A variety of article titles popped up. They verged from hateful to celebratory, with the overwhelming majority taking the juicy celebrity scandal route. _Figures._

Sana tapped the most neutral title: "Dahyun Kim and Sana Minatozaki: the First Out Celebrity Lesbian Couple." She scrolled past the recap of the interview, noting that they had clipped and embedded Dahyun's monologue. Then it got into the negative responses. Sana was surprised and a little shaken to see that a number of politicians and other celebrities - none close to her or Dahyun - had denounced their relationship. A public opinion poll showed that people's reactions to her and Dahyun were much more polarized than last time. Only 1% of the population reported neutrality. The rest were split 29% to 70%, positive to negative reactions. _Seventy percent. Over two-thirds._  

It was odd how most people supported gay characters on the TV screen but had problems with them in real life.

"Keep reading," Mina said. "I know it seems bad. But there's always a silver lining."

Sana swallowed past the lump in her throat. "It's not as bad as I was expecting."

_But..._

Mina's hand curled around Sana's knee, and Sana knew she understood.

She scrolled down. She and Dahyun had trended on all social media platforms for a week. The number of Tweets about them hit record levels, as people all over the nation and even the world debated back and forth.

"Okay," Sana said, taking a deep breath. "I get why you didn't want to show us." She couldn't even comprehend it. The whole world was talking about her and Dahyun.

Mina squeezed her knee. Sana kept reading. A few politicians came out in support of them. Sana saw a picture of a famous actor, an industry favorite, with his arm wrapped around another man.

"Oh!" Sana exclaimed. "He's gay?"

"He came out because of you two."

A quote from him was directly beneath.

_I hid my sexuality for decades. It wasn't easy, but I managed. There was no way I'd survive during my prime in this industry, or maybe even in this country, if I didn't. And I don't regret it. Whether or not one wants to share their intimate preferences is their business. But the courage and sheer bravery of these two young actresses and the change they're inspiring in the world has shown me the value in stepping up and speaking out for those of us who are afraid. That's what I plan to be doing now._

Underneath that were screenshots of an overwhelming number of Tweets proclaiming their support for Sana and Dahyun. One particularly long one caught Sana's eye.

 **yerimmiexo:** _ive_ _been in love w my best friend for as long as i can remember. shes the most beautiful person in the world-no one makes me happier. but being gay is so odd to my town that we have to date guys to get by. i can't even hold her hand._

 **yerimmiexo: [cont]** _but bc_ _of saida, ppl are starting to understand. our parents finally support us and we're going to be together for real. i love her so much. i can't describe how happy i am. thank u so much, saida <3_

Sana's hand came up to cover her mouth. There was a thick feeling her throat.

"You guys mean a lot to so many people," Mina said. "You're changing people's lives for the better, no matter what others think. And that's the truth."

Sana hadn't been able to comprehend what her and Dahyun coming out actually meant for the world. It was so much more important than she'd thought. So much bigger.

Sana was known for having no filter for her emotions. She knew she felt more intensely than a lot of people. But she surprised even herself when her body shook with a sob. 

She dimly registered a surprised Mina taking her into her arms and rubbing her back as Sana let out sob after sob, the tears burning hot tracks down her face. A tidal wave of emotion finally broke as Sana understood, for the first time, that some things were worth risking change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys....i'm so proud of Sana.
> 
> WHAT IS LOVE WON SOTY!!! TWICE ARE GAY ICONS! also i am a dahyun STAN and i love yes or yes but...her wig. that animal print dress. does anyone want to discuss. the stylists did her dirty this era :(.
> 
> stream yes or yes, stan loona, and take good care of urselves this break!<3


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